So I wanna say thank you
Cause it
Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Makes me learn a little bit faster
Makes my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

So what has been on my mind while I continue on my path to recovery. Well today I felt really cool as I had to get an MRI, my very first one! I was excited because of the fact that like NBA players have to go through this. But once I was laying down on that bed, it took a whole 25 minutes for them to scan my knee. I thought this was like a 1 second thing. Let me tell you that laying still for that amount of time is very hard. Now comes the scary part, depending on what the MRI reads, as Dr. Stroud said to me "If the MRI says it is good, then you will just need to get some physical therapy, however if it does say something else then we will need to discuss other options". Hmmm other options, hint hint means surgery.

So whether I get surgery or not, hopefully not two things keep flashing in my head. I keep thinking about the Kobe Bryant Sprite commercial, how he is working his butt off so that he can only play that much harder in the game. The other thing is Christina Aguilera's song Figher, the NBA Playoff song to this year's playoff. So I bought the cd today :) Praise God though that I did meet my goal since my injury, of being in playable shape by Tuesday night v-ball. The past 48 hours, I've continued to test and push myself to see how far I can go each hour without pain. So yesterday, I lost the brace, and today I decided to get rid of the crutches. So hopefully at the rate I am going at, God will say no surgery :) Again my ultimate goal is full recovery within 3 weeks, that is if no surgery is required. If it happens then, anything goes.

On the bright side though, I found out yesterday I won 3rd place at this Scrapbook Store next to my house. Gosh I've never won in a raffle before. Then again, does this hurt my image as a male, especially to Brother Steve, and Rich?

Dirrty

What an Easter it was for me, let's see all I did was watch every single NBA playoff game there was on tv. Define irony though? I remember one of the first things that ran through my mind on Saturday was that episode of Saved By The Bell, where Zach twisted his knee and tore some cartiledge and had to get an operation. Well guess what? That episode was on this morning as I woke up and decided to watch it. Is God trying to tell me something here? Will I end up like Zach, and have to get an operation? Well I'll find out in about 3 hours from now to see what will happen. Again I am still shooting for no surgery and still trying to figure out what is God's Will in all this.

On the bright side, I went to school early today to get a good parking spot so I don't have to crutch my way all around school. I ran into Tara, and I decided to go down with her to see what she is gonna get in our SCS class. Prof. D told me my grade in the class too considering that she wanted the rest of us to come in on Thursday with our binders in check. Well I didn't have my binder but she figured that it would of been all good so she gave me a 4.0 on that. So my final grade in the class came out to a 3.7. Yay go me! That is like my highest grade at OU by far, well next to Intro to China, which I think that was a 3.8. Now for that dumb MTE final now.

Pain Is Temporary
The Game Is Forever

Ok so today has to be one of the worst days of my life. I can't believe I'm saying this but I wish I could go to work. Nope instead, I'm stuck in a rut because I can't walk, barely stand. I'm still trying to remain positive and understand what it is that God has in store for me. It's just so frustrating with this brace on and having crutches that I can't do my normal things.

Yesterday, I had everything planned out for my spring schedule. I was gonna take 2-3 classes to speed up this thing called graduation. However, depending on what the doc says this week about my knee, things could change. I am really praying for no surgery because I don't know how long that will take me out for. I mean do I unregister for spring classes it surgery is required? The doc did say that I will have to go through physical therapy too, this is to be sure so my knee will be back 100% to be able to go back out and compete. So what is my goal? My goal is first, really pray hard for no surgery and hope this is a Ben Wallace type of injury. Second thing is that I want to be 100% right before the Chinese Tournament. No matter how hard I have to push myself through physical therapy, I want to play in that tournament. But I know it all depends on You above. So please Lord, be with me in this time and help me understand why I am going through this time.

No Pain, No Gain

Man has today been a unprouctive day of the fruit. Let's see since last night's wonderful Bible Study lead by Andy, I have been sleeping for the last 12 hours out of the past 17 hours. The only time that I was awake for in that 5 hour time span was because Kelly called me because I overslept for class again. So I ate a little bit, had a food coma, then went back to bed only to realize that dang it I need to produce some sort of fruit today. So I decided to go to school and attend a class that I don't even take. However, I did finish 2 sections of homework, go me! Well I like to think that the whole time I have spent sleeping is because God wanted to restore me physically, as I have been drained lately after pulling the all nighters and then only averaging a couple of hours a sleep each night. However, I must not get complacent with my new found energy, so I need to go to the Rec Center tonight and use it to good use.

So lately I've been reflecting a lot, especially about who I am. I just bought the new Linkin Park cd, and now that I just found it, mine is a gonna be a limited edition because they are recalling all of them back. Ya know I love Linkin Park, I believe that they are one of my all time favorite groups because a lot of their songs make me reflect about my life, also a lot of their songs get me pumped to play, and a lot of their songs on their cd's are really good. Their cd's are not like 1 hit wonders. Anyways, I do a lot of my best reflection time when I am driving on my own, actually reflecting during class is up there too. Going back to reflecting while driving, their's just nothing better than driving with you and God and the open freeway. To top that, driving at 100 mph plus, blasting away to Linkin Park just got me really thinking about last night's Bible Study.

We were studying about the Parable of the Talents. I took a look around to see all these people that God has provided for this fellowship and it got me realizing to this.I realized that I need to challenge myself harder in studying God's Word if I am called to be one of the leaders of the 5:14. I just want to praise God for the numbers tonight, but may He also give us the wisdom to help or challenge the group to grow not only in numbers in spiritual growth.

Also with the study of our spiritual gifts, I was thinking that yeah I have a good idea of what my gifts are, well I hope I do. But I need to focus on my weaknesses to try to make them my strengths as well. So what is it that I am thinking about? Well I think a weakness of mine is expectations, like in all my ED courses, teachers are called to have high expectations of their class. But then I think about like the dating principle, I believe I'm better off single because I expect too much in a relationship. Then if I am playing in a league or something, as a team don't you set a goal? So what's the difference between setting expectations and setting a goal, I ask? Gosh and my peeps that I know who are getting engaged within this past week has jumped to 5. Did I miss out on some sort of engagement convention or something? And thinking back about what C said to me earlier, I think you're right about females going through this time. So with that don't worry to all my freaks out there, y'all find you're special someone out there soon enough.

Somewhere I Belong

Wow what a good combo I got going on over here. I haven't slept since Sunday night due to the dumb portfolio and it is boiling in the ED building. As finally the semester comes to an end, yesterday I decided to let out some of my frustration at people in SCS. So what were the convo's like yesterday during SCS? Usually I am the loud obnoxious one but yet I keep the class entertained. Well I did my best to avoid people who were annoying me or in this case sucking the life out of me. Here's how it went with some people.....

Prof: I'm handing out a fun activity to do
J: Oh is this the activity with the pumpkin?
Me: No, this is the activity where I let out flying helicopter kicks to all y'all who are bothering me
Class: Laughing

Another good convo during SCS,

M: Hey Ke..
Me: burp
M: can you....
Me: burp
M: stop...
Me: burp
M: will you...
Me: burp, oooooooh shut your mouth now

3rd convo......

A: Gosh I hate the lady
M: Oh yeah I agree
Me: Why y'all gotta be hating on her
A: Because she's always talking about how good her stuff is
K: Yeah she sucks up
A: Gosh I can't stand her
Me: Alright, A, you need to shut up and stop hating on her, while you're at it get a new jersey
Class: Laughing

4th convo,

Prof: I'm passing out the Bird in the cage activity
Me: (reaching over to grab it from M because she is trying to update her own work while some of us are getting screwed by not being able to see it)
M: Hey don't touch my stuff
Me: Well dang, maybe I wouldn't if you'd pass this (about to give her the number 1 signal) bird down to some of us
M: Well I'm just a little stressed over trying to keep up with my stuff
Me: Alright just keep being selfish
Class: Oooooooooh, laughing

Yup, I had a very good communication day with some of the people in my SCS class. I don't know if I have the right to or not, but dude I'm tired of some of the people in there and it's just time for me to put them in their place. Like I got one person talking to my boy Eric, about the types of alcholic drinks and I am wondering why are you even talking about it when you don't even touch this stuff? Does this make you feel cool so you're talking about alchol, what the G happened to your faith about being a good Catholic girl? I'm sick of the fake people in this class.

On the positive though, B and I had a funny convo about sex since massages don't cut it. and congrats to you too Kelly on your engagement. Dang you're only 21 too with a nice big rock on your hand. Also did I miss some sort of engagement party or something because this makes it like 4 people I know now who have been proposed to this week. Anyways, I'm just glad this semester is almost over because I can't take being with some of these peeps who I thought were amigos to me, instead it just felt like they were wearing the ya know out of me. What a touchin moment we had though after EED with Sarah, Melissa, Julia, Angela, and myself. I'm gonna miss them and Melissa never underestimate the heart of a champion, Go Wings! Angela if you have SARS thatyou keep sneezing all over me then I will kill you before your plague kills me :)

Point of Authority