Ok, so it's like almost 4 a.m. now and I'm still awake. I want to go to sleep but my body is just in so much pain that it hurts to lay down. I think I'm gonna have about 4-5 ice packs on tonight, well it beats Ben Gay. So I'm rubbing my knee too, and it feels kind of cool now. I understand what Viv and Kim been explaining to me on how to check if I have excess fluid in my knee. And boy do I have a lot since I'm rubbing it right now, and man do they both feel like water balloons.

And tonight was the first time my team played together during practice. It was exciting to see us destroy the teams in the first couple of games but after that boy did we break down. Again I can only blame myself for the losses because I always noticed the strengths on our team. However I was too blind to see our weaknesses and it showed tonight. I know that I've gone up a level from last year, and I haven't really shown it so far because I don't think I need to go S.S. yet. But do I need to ascend up to twice to make up for my team's weaknesses?

I'm glad Peter talked to me tonight for a little bit and explained to me what he saw wrong on my team. There is one thing that he saw and it is something you can't really teach. He said I was ok with it, and if I am that means I need to push myself harder to help the rest of the team out. And how much confidence can you beleive in someone? I have faith in people, but am I too overconfident and naive if I don't face facts? I know I need to pick myself up and improve on other areas. I know I exhausted my energy tonight and I think I've been naive on how far I can push myself without being 100%. So I think I'll try a new method in healing my body besides staying at home, because I ain't any good to the team if I'm not at 100%.

Although one good thing that happened tonight was the fact that I just killed the ball right up the middle and shut some of my opponents mouth up. Don't people know when they talk trash to me, that it only fuels my fire. Great set by David for a quick, and bam straight down, and a loud scream and a stare down by me, and silenced those who thought they were all big and bad.

Pain Is Temporary
The Game Is Forever