This past weekend, was just a weekend of reflection/revelations in my life and to see where I'm at in life. First came the much anticipated CSC B-ball tournament at MSU. I knew from the past that we would be one of the favored teams along with J.R.'s team, and KSU's team. However right from the beginning I knew we weren't gonna go far, I hate to say it but just looking at how our team responded. I mean by the time everyone got to the gym, our first game was about to start. And yeah we lost to J.R's team and some could say it was because we didn't get a chance to warm up. Well if some of us got to the gym a little earlier maybe we could of shot together as a team. The 2nd game we played was against Ruff Ballerz, and we won that game. But that game was fun in a way because it had intensity and we played hard because if we lost that means we would be going home. I gave the team a little speech before the game started saying no more dicking around and it's time to get down to business. A couple of us got into some trash talking wars, Bobby vs. Cash Money because Bob's kept shouting out, give me the ball look who's guarding me, which was hilarious. Because Bobby didn't mean to disrespect the guy as in that he was a bad player but just the fact that Bobby had the physical advantage. Then during Stan's free throws, this African-American guy and I got into face to face. He tried to get me to punch him or shove him so that I would be ejected from the game. However instead I gave him a hug for love just to taunt him back and that I am the king of mind games. And then came our 3rd game, it was against Ray's team and yeah everyone was laughing because his team sucked. But I kept telling everyone not to under-estimate them and that this ain't CBC b-ball, so what happens? People let their fricking pride get the better of them and Ray's team came back from a 16 point deficit to eliminate us from the playoffs.

Here are somethings that I got out of this tournament. First off I gotta admit that the competition has gotten a lot better, I believe we've gone from playoff contenders to playoff pretenders. Why because in every game we had the lead going into the 2nd half but we usually lose during it in the middle of the second half. That just shows our team isn't mentally tough because often times we gotta pushed around. It's as simple as this, if someone shoved me, then I pushed them back letting them no I ain't taking any of that crap, I even wrote Psalm 23 on my arm showing no fear to any man on the court with me. What still frustrates me is that people think CBC b-ball is equivalent to this type of tournament. I mean you could be an all star at CBC but out here you ain't shit if you don't know how to run with the african-americans. Here's another telling tale, Stan lead the team in minutes played out of a possible 90, he played about 86 minutes. I was 2nd with 84 minutes, however if anyone bothered to notice, everytime I was taken out for someone else so he could get more playing time, we had the lead while I was in but lost it once I was subbed out. How did we win that 2nd game? Because I played every minute unlike the first and the third. So another key to success for us next time, don't fricking take me out of the game. And that's another thing are we entering the tournament so that we can all have a little playing time or are we here to fricking win the thing, no matter who plays? It pisses me off that I helped build the lead that our team had only to come in and now we are down by x amount of points. So people can say what they want about why we lost? But this is what I believe, we lost before the tournamet started due to lateness, and we never had the correct lineups out on the court at the given situations. Simple as that, and if that's not good enough then it's on me because people felt I should of taken more shots or attacked the rim more. I hesitated because I wanted to get others involved in the offense first but maybe they were right, I should of shot the ball more.

Afterwards, their was this frat/sorority party held at this club. When I first heard about it, I really wanted to go because everyone from CSC wanted me to go with them. However after the tournament I was able to do some more reflecting and praying, like is this where God wants me to be. I learned that a good portion of the CCF people were going as well, and it made me feel like not going anymore. Why? That verse in Eph. 4:23 kept ringing in my head and I saw it on Sewa's door from her roomie, so I knew God had to be speaking to me there. If this was before I accepted Christ I probably would of been to that party for sure, however it's not me anymore. Some people were gonna go there to check out the Asian hunnies but ya know that's not me either. I remember one of them were talking about that they ain't ashamed of how they act at a club. And it got me thinking to what Dan shared about last Tuesday, is that it's just the very thought already not the action but the thought is what counts. I mean I figured if I went, since their would be sooo much booty flying around then I would be falling into temptation or just not being mindful of my thoughts. Maybe I'm just weaker than others when it comes to having thoughts, but God will never lead us into temptation so I hoped my actions that night glorified God by not going. And yesterday at worship, it still bothered me when I walked into God's house. I was literally crying inside of me before P. Ho even went up to the pulpit because I was just soooo concerned for my brothers and sisters who went Saturday night. And it just bothered me that I didn't step up to say anything to them when they were about to go because I didn't want anyone to look at me the wrong way or thinking that I'm a dork now for not wanting to go. But Jesus was bold when he came to make statements and that's just something I need to work on. What really got to me is seeing how much time, some people spent on getting ready for this party, yet it makes me think do you spend this amount of time getting ready to worship our God? And an old friend called me up that night too asking if I would go with her (non-Christian) to the party and she said that I owe her a dance. I told that I couldn't due to personal reasons. But it's integrity that I've been working on ever since this year started and the fact that God is using me to teach children at this point in my life. And I'm thankful that I will be student teaching this Wednesday at some school in Ferndale, gosh I wish it was closer but I'm thankful that I do have a place to be teaching.

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