So last night was just a time of reflection with so much happening. First off, we went to the finals again for the 4th straight time but we got swept by Joey's team. I take nothing away from them, the better team won plain and simple. Everything that could go wrong in v-ball pretty much happened all last night. One of my worst fears about this team was our mental toughness. For some strange reason this team begins to panic no matter if we were down by one or down by 10. I said a couple of weeks ago how the team has taken somewhat of my identity, well I noticed last night it was a bad thing too. Everyone on the team is just as competitive as I am but it's a shame when we sucked the fun out of each other. Joey's team pretty much exposed every weakness that we have, our lack of speed, our lack of awareness, and our lack of passing. They knew who they wanted to serve to and it was frustrating seeing Stan and Mike way off on their hitting. It was hard to keep Maegan in the game since she was coming down with something that just drained her energy. Our blocking was horrible let alone again our coverage. Their were of course a lot of shady calls that there called against us. But what bothers me a lot is that the dumb lady can't even keep track of the score, I mean rally score it is not a hard concept. So of course we always lost some points for whatever reason. But I take the blame for our loss because I should of done something different with the rotation possibly, or doing a better job of calming the team down, most important was that I chose not to go SS until it was too late and I couldn't hold it as I was drained from the first round along with the fact that Joey's team did a pretty good job of keeping the ball away from me. Gosh it's just so frustrating that I couldn't carry the load when everyone else was slumping.

Speaking of carrying the load, yesterday I noticed at how much I'm trying to help people in SCS and EED. Should I be spreading myself out so much because these people come to me for help? I'm thankful for Kelly last night helping me with MTE, what was wierd was that we broke into OU to study. What sucks about OU is that we don't have some library that is open 24 hours like MSU, or how bout Angell Hall and Media Union at UMich. So Kelly and I broke into Varner Hall to go to the study lounge and study till our brains were fried at 2:30 a.m. However after taking the exam just now, my grade won't look too well. I keep wondering if I don't help anyone out and look out for myself then would my MTE grade be as good as my SCS and EED grade right now, which I think both are hovering around a 3.6-3.7. In EED I'm trying to get our group organized in doing our demo, but everyone is at like a different stage in life so there are time conflicts, so I'm trying to pick the slack for them. SCS is just another story of being able to help out everyone. Am I trying to carry too much of the load? Will the load topple me or maybe is it and I just haven't noticed yet? How much more can I push my limit? Even in v-ball I was telling Maegan that it's either you want to get better or you don't. Our team we have more of the latter half because everyone became content after winning 2 in a row. If it wasn't for going to B-Ham today for student teaching//observation you can sure bet I would be in the weight room right now just getting ready for next season. The only consolation prize last night was that the t-shirts Joey's team recieved, well we already have those.

Kiss Kiss