I'm standing on a bridge
I'm waitin in the dark
I thought that You'd be here by now
Theres nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but theres no sound

Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a dang cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont You take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I think know who You are
but I... I'm with You

This morning I walked into work, just mellowing it out. I walked out for a little bit to get a drink of water. I was watching these 2 African-Americans bickering at one another. They were swearing, cussing, flicking each other off, chest to chest, throwing water bottles at each other, and shouting. I just stood there the whole time watching. My first thought was, dang y'all need Jesus in your life. Then I held back, and said wait, Matt 7:13-14 talks about how following Jesus is the harder path. So now I'm thinking how can these they even follow Jesus, if they struggling already without Him. Then I thought well I have Jesus and yet I'm struggling right now too. So then I'm thinking just exactly where's the love? After that thought, was hey I better get my butt back into work.

I almost had deja vu again, from last year as Sophia was starting to cry as camp was counting down for her. Last year, as she cried, I cried with her because over now what is now a 3 year friendship we have over camp, we are unseparable. Much like I thought that of other friendships, but this one is built on love for one another. Stef D told me today that last week when I came in later, Sophia was crying. She was crying because she had harder homework, and some of the counselor's tried to help her, but she kept saying that she wanted me.

It made me think of my possibility of leaving ACA due to the Canton Clique, but is my love for the kids stronger than my dislike of working with them? It hit me that I felt like I let my Sophia down because I came to work later that day. I don't like that feeling. I'm glad to know that Sophia will be coming to camp on Friday. However, I'm down that I won't see Peter, David, Lillian, and Lixiang, since they've been with me the past couple of years now, and we've grown tight. I felt even worst when I slide tackled Peter and made him cry today when we played soccer. Yay, I get to play with my Wei Wei next week when we play soccer. Yes I need someone who can play goalie while I rack up the goals.

My boss told me today how she noticed the division even greater amongst myself and the other yuckle counselors at ACA. She told me to try and fit in with them. But eh, I work alone because I don't need them.

Nuthin's Gonna Stand In My Way