So what do I want to say today? Well yesterday was a nightmare, it was sad to see Viv take off as she only has a couple of days left here in Mi. I parked my car at the curb of the terminal to help lift her luggage since it was like 10 times her weight. We said our goodbyes and I come back out, and I was left scratching my head asking uhhh what happened to my car? As it seems that the lovely Metro Airport police officer decided to tow my car away. So I had to pay $75 cash on the spot to get it back. The guys who towed it said it was nice to talk to a guy who can laugh this off. And all I can do is turn the other cheek towards a lot of things, as much crap as I've been putting up with, I think it's just my personality to be full of hope that things will get better. So as I entered my car, I noticed I had something on my windshield, and I look at it, of course things get better right? HA! It's a nice parking ticket that hit me up as well, so now I gotta take this thing to court which blows monkey nuts. I mean towing my car wasn't good enough I take it. Well I pray that Viv got to DC aight.
Now I'm running off this nice all nighter due to 2 term papers and 1 mid-term already. I still haven't finished this term paper yet and it is due in 3 hours! Fruity pebbles what am I doing blogging? Oh well, I am the king of procrastination. And I'm suppose to run in the marathon this Sunday but Dr. Kim has advised me not to and she sounded pissed when I told her I was good to go. But I've been praying about it and if she is upset that I am running than I'd rather not run because I don't want to lose her friendship vs. losing a race. Ya know I've got a nice medical staff that I am building for myself. Kim as my doc, Naomi as my physical therapist, and Viv as my nurse. Well it sucks today though as Naomi thinks that I might of damaged some sort of nerve or tendon in my hand. Errrr looks like I might have to hit up that Mortin again.
Ya know what's really been keeping me at peace during my times of saddness and disappointment, is gotta be any of my Jay Chow cd's. I don't know why but it makes me always turn the other cheek. Aight time to go hit up that paper.
An Jing!
Thursday, October 03, 2002
Tuesday, October 01, 2002
It's been a frustrating past few days for me. I came back to CBC to worship once again and it wasn't the feeling that I got from people that made me feel like I would want to come back to worship. In the past, people I would always hear people complain about certain things that they didn't like about CBC. And I would notice it and I would always ask God to use me, to change the way people think about CBC. But now I've noticed I begun slipping into that department as well. I feel like I want to give up on asking God to use me in that way at CBC. Was I too naive to be having this type of vision or did I do what you commanded us to do which was to carry hope, faith, and love?
And I've been seeking God every night for answers of what is going on with me, certain friends of mine. God gave me some answers, and it was more than I could take and I just ran out of the house upset. I drove around for a while to clear my head before our v-ball game so that I couldn't be distracted. The emotional pain is more than I can bear right now and it has left me distracted in all the other areas of my life. The answers that were presented to me only left me with more questions to ask, and if I do ask them am I able to take it? One of my favorite biblical characters is Job and I would hope that I am going through what he went through. And I know some people are going through this stage with their friends too, and they pretty much have that don't care mentality with them now. I want to have that attitude too, but I feel like I can't because I care too much about them, yet they don't seem like they share that caring feeling with me. I want to give all of their friendships a second chance like He has given us. And I've been praying for certain friendships to get back to where it was before and it can only happen through God. However if certain friendships were to end this way, again I ask am I being to naive to have so much hope in these people whom I call my friends, brothers, and sisters? Or was it meant to be this way? Why am I so weak right now? If only their was Motrin for this type of pain, and I know if I went back to my past then I know I wouldn't be feeling this way. If I am getting pushed away, then can I break away from them? Now it's time for me to go and seek counsel from whom You've sent to me to look out for me in my time of frustration.
A Maze of Grace
And I've been seeking God every night for answers of what is going on with me, certain friends of mine. God gave me some answers, and it was more than I could take and I just ran out of the house upset. I drove around for a while to clear my head before our v-ball game so that I couldn't be distracted. The emotional pain is more than I can bear right now and it has left me distracted in all the other areas of my life. The answers that were presented to me only left me with more questions to ask, and if I do ask them am I able to take it? One of my favorite biblical characters is Job and I would hope that I am going through what he went through. And I know some people are going through this stage with their friends too, and they pretty much have that don't care mentality with them now. I want to have that attitude too, but I feel like I can't because I care too much about them, yet they don't seem like they share that caring feeling with me. I want to give all of their friendships a second chance like He has given us. And I've been praying for certain friendships to get back to where it was before and it can only happen through God. However if certain friendships were to end this way, again I ask am I being to naive to have so much hope in these people whom I call my friends, brothers, and sisters? Or was it meant to be this way? Why am I so weak right now? If only their was Motrin for this type of pain, and I know if I went back to my past then I know I wouldn't be feeling this way. If I am getting pushed away, then can I break away from them? Now it's time for me to go and seek counsel from whom You've sent to me to look out for me in my time of frustration.
A Maze of Grace
Saturday, September 28, 2002
Can't get You off my mind
What we have is hard to find
I feel this pain inside
But I know Your love
Your love it can set me free
Make me see
It's so magical, You and me
God's power is just so undescriable sometimes that it is just like magic. So this semester, I'm taking ENV 304, PS 241, and HST 115, which enviromental science, politcal science and history. Who would of ever thought that each class has been talking about Christianity. And who would of ever known that God is using me to correct those and challenge others about His Word. Take ENV for example, our prof keeps talking about evolution, while I keep trying to challenge the thought of creation to him. Then in PS, our prof keeps talking about law, and then he got to the point and asked the class, "where are my Christian theologians in here?" Boy was I excited to hear out people share what they know about God, and I got to throw my 2 cents in. And in HST, I feel like I've been giving the chance to explain the actions of early Christians way back when this nation was first formed. I feel like this is part of God's plan for me to expand back my QT times with Him because their's nothing better than a spiritual challenge that hopefully would turn into spiritual growth towards spiritual maturity.
Then in PS, their again there is that same dang girl who annoys me to death. This week she decided to sit in my seat and I was like ohhhhh no you did not do that. However, it's hard to explain but after class, I got a chance to chat with this girl, and now I understand why I she does what she does during class. She told me that she has A.D.D., and I felt bad for being mean to her, what made it worst for me personnally was that it took something out of her control to make me feel guilty on how sometimes I treated her during class. Hopefully I can show better compassion towards everyone in the future. Starting with that nerd who sits behind me, sorry I had to get that in.
Also for the past couple of weeks now, my banking specialist at Comerica, Michelle, has been talking to me about Christianity. She shared with me on what she believes in, however she said she would love it if I had time to read and teach what The Bible is trying to say. Can you believe it, God using me to do His ministry! All I can pray for is that I need to continue to grow in His Word so that I can go out better equipped to serving Him. I really pray that I can have the same passion as someone like my BSF leader, Bali, to just exhort, encourage, and assist young men and women to pursue ultimate joy by becoming passionate and obedient followers of Jesus Christ.
However that all sounds good and dandy. But like everyone else, I do have my struggles and it continues to circulate around the same annoyance factor as Mayo G. And I've noticed from what I've been reading on others bloggers that my brothers and sisters are having their own struggles as well. And I just want to let you all know for those who are reading this, that I'm praying for you as each night passes by, God bless y'all.
Why Oh Why
What we have is hard to find
I feel this pain inside
But I know Your love
Your love it can set me free
Make me see
It's so magical, You and me
God's power is just so undescriable sometimes that it is just like magic. So this semester, I'm taking ENV 304, PS 241, and HST 115, which enviromental science, politcal science and history. Who would of ever thought that each class has been talking about Christianity. And who would of ever known that God is using me to correct those and challenge others about His Word. Take ENV for example, our prof keeps talking about evolution, while I keep trying to challenge the thought of creation to him. Then in PS, our prof keeps talking about law, and then he got to the point and asked the class, "where are my Christian theologians in here?" Boy was I excited to hear out people share what they know about God, and I got to throw my 2 cents in. And in HST, I feel like I've been giving the chance to explain the actions of early Christians way back when this nation was first formed. I feel like this is part of God's plan for me to expand back my QT times with Him because their's nothing better than a spiritual challenge that hopefully would turn into spiritual growth towards spiritual maturity.
Then in PS, their again there is that same dang girl who annoys me to death. This week she decided to sit in my seat and I was like ohhhhh no you did not do that. However, it's hard to explain but after class, I got a chance to chat with this girl, and now I understand why I she does what she does during class. She told me that she has A.D.D., and I felt bad for being mean to her, what made it worst for me personnally was that it took something out of her control to make me feel guilty on how sometimes I treated her during class. Hopefully I can show better compassion towards everyone in the future. Starting with that nerd who sits behind me, sorry I had to get that in.
Also for the past couple of weeks now, my banking specialist at Comerica, Michelle, has been talking to me about Christianity. She shared with me on what she believes in, however she said she would love it if I had time to read and teach what The Bible is trying to say. Can you believe it, God using me to do His ministry! All I can pray for is that I need to continue to grow in His Word so that I can go out better equipped to serving Him. I really pray that I can have the same passion as someone like my BSF leader, Bali, to just exhort, encourage, and assist young men and women to pursue ultimate joy by becoming passionate and obedient followers of Jesus Christ.
However that all sounds good and dandy. But like everyone else, I do have my struggles and it continues to circulate around the same annoyance factor as Mayo G. And I've noticed from what I've been reading on others bloggers that my brothers and sisters are having their own struggles as well. And I just want to let you all know for those who are reading this, that I'm praying for you as each night passes by, God bless y'all.
Why Oh Why
Thursday, September 26, 2002
Well what a night it was last night. First off I was excited that finally a whole team from another church, CGC, that is, has come to invade CBC on Tuesday nights for v-ball. They weren't too bad, it was really cool playing against them because they were running plays in Taiwanese. It took a while for my team to win and I felt bad that I was a bad witness to those on my team because majority of them were non-Christians. After v-ball, Phil, JW, Vickie, and I odered Vietnamese yet again, and brought it back to my place so we could hang out. We watched Blade 2, much better than Blade 1 I must say, and after that Phil, JW, and I continued our season in Madden 2K3. I stayed up till 7 this morning playing because my team is the worst out of the 3 of us.
So I woke up this afternoon at 1:30, and did my grocery shopping again. All I did today was nap and watch DBZ because I've been so drained physically with all my bumps and bruises. But I did have some time of reflection, and I just sat on the couch just wondering where God's been leading me lately. I'm really thankful that some of these guys and gal, are home because we can hang out like we always did during the summer. However it's been just hanging out, and not fellowship, and it's been a time in work with this new small group possibly being planted at CBC. However, I don't know if I'm ready to just jump back in the leadership role at CBC. I believe that's why I haven't been at CBC on Sundays to worship for the past month now. During the summer, I was serving in every single ministry that there possibly was, and it was just so draining, in essense my personal time with God dwindled. Like I'm glad so many people can count on me to serve or help out, but towards the end it started getting to that point where I would be serving, but it would be serving just for the sake of it, pretty much serving for people and not doing it purely for God. I have this issue with saying no to people because I like to think I can handle everything on my own, you can say it is a pride thing because I always want to push my limit to see if I can go beyond it. And that's when I decided that I needed to take a step back and examine my walk with God. It's been great to just worship these past few weeks at other churches, and meeting new brothers and sisters. And I thought I this past Monday I was ready to go back to CBC, however Viv called me today asking if I wanted to go to Knox with her. And I kind of do, because I love the people at Knox, and just how the worship is setup.
Plus I want to hang out with Viv before she leaves for the Windy City. And I'm glad that God has provided both Gerald and her with jobs. I'm just a little sad that it wasn't here but nonetheless I'm very happy for the both of them. Gerald has already left, and I'm glad that I have a great friendship with him. He is probably one of the most caring, and sincere guys that I know. It's hard to find a traits like those in a guy these days. With the G Force gone, and Viv gone soon, who else am I gonna talk about our anacondas with? Well there is always Ting, ha but that would only annoy her, and it won't be long till she leaves for college. Well it's a little past 3 a.m. now and I guess I should take another nap so I can be some what awake during class in the morning.
Mind Machine
So I woke up this afternoon at 1:30, and did my grocery shopping again. All I did today was nap and watch DBZ because I've been so drained physically with all my bumps and bruises. But I did have some time of reflection, and I just sat on the couch just wondering where God's been leading me lately. I'm really thankful that some of these guys and gal, are home because we can hang out like we always did during the summer. However it's been just hanging out, and not fellowship, and it's been a time in work with this new small group possibly being planted at CBC. However, I don't know if I'm ready to just jump back in the leadership role at CBC. I believe that's why I haven't been at CBC on Sundays to worship for the past month now. During the summer, I was serving in every single ministry that there possibly was, and it was just so draining, in essense my personal time with God dwindled. Like I'm glad so many people can count on me to serve or help out, but towards the end it started getting to that point where I would be serving, but it would be serving just for the sake of it, pretty much serving for people and not doing it purely for God. I have this issue with saying no to people because I like to think I can handle everything on my own, you can say it is a pride thing because I always want to push my limit to see if I can go beyond it. And that's when I decided that I needed to take a step back and examine my walk with God. It's been great to just worship these past few weeks at other churches, and meeting new brothers and sisters. And I thought I this past Monday I was ready to go back to CBC, however Viv called me today asking if I wanted to go to Knox with her. And I kind of do, because I love the people at Knox, and just how the worship is setup.
Plus I want to hang out with Viv before she leaves for the Windy City. And I'm glad that God has provided both Gerald and her with jobs. I'm just a little sad that it wasn't here but nonetheless I'm very happy for the both of them. Gerald has already left, and I'm glad that I have a great friendship with him. He is probably one of the most caring, and sincere guys that I know. It's hard to find a traits like those in a guy these days. With the G Force gone, and Viv gone soon, who else am I gonna talk about our anacondas with? Well there is always Ting, ha but that would only annoy her, and it won't be long till she leaves for college. Well it's a little past 3 a.m. now and I guess I should take another nap so I can be some what awake during class in the morning.
Mind Machine
Tuesday, September 24, 2002
I don't know what it is, but for the past week now I've been having probs sleeping or just taking a nap. I think it is because my back is killing me too when I don't take my painkillers. And now my elbow is hurting even more after our v-ball game. Anyways, tonight we were victorious against Jones Next Door Too going 2-1 against them, so that brings our YCF record to 3-3. After the game though, I was still pissed because I didn't get to exact revenge on this guy on their team. It's one thing to get loud to fire up your team after all I like to play on emotion and intensity. It's another thing to get all dang skippy about blocking a girl. It's one thing he blocked me when I tried to dink it, but please if you're gonna get fired up, block me when I am actually killing it on your team. So all I am hoping for is that we see them in the playoffs so I can seek vengance for Thumbs.
This guy can get all skippy about blocking my weak dink that I tried. But he should reflect on how they lost because we didn't even kill the ball that many times. However, I did like my kill that to me wasn't even that powerful, but it was a great set by Leslie. And the next couple of weeks, we'll be playing against probably the weakest teams in our league. I hope that we can finish both these teams off 3-0 because the teams we play after is when we play some of the tougher teams. I'm so excited to be playing against those guys because then I get to truly test how far I've come as J-Dub would say S.S. Anyways time to try and go to bed for a little bit before I go to my 8 a.m. class, I wonder if Stan and Erin are gonna join me this week or sleep in again?
So Magical
This guy can get all skippy about blocking my weak dink that I tried. But he should reflect on how they lost because we didn't even kill the ball that many times. However, I did like my kill that to me wasn't even that powerful, but it was a great set by Leslie. And the next couple of weeks, we'll be playing against probably the weakest teams in our league. I hope that we can finish both these teams off 3-0 because the teams we play after is when we play some of the tougher teams. I'm so excited to be playing against those guys because then I get to truly test how far I've come as J-Dub would say S.S. Anyways time to try and go to bed for a little bit before I go to my 8 a.m. class, I wonder if Stan and Erin are gonna join me this week or sleep in again?
So Magical