My loves a broken record that's
Skipping in my head
I kept praying yesterday
Why You gots to play these games we play
I ain't trippin
I'm just missin You
Ya know what I'm saying
Ya know what I mean
Every now and then
When I'm all alone
I've been wishing You would call me on the telephone
Say You want me back, but You never do, I feel like such a fool
There's nothing I can do
I'm such a fool for You
I can't take it
What am I waiting for
I'd still break it
I miss You even more

After some time of reflection last night and today, I finally understand what Stacie is saying now. Last night the word I kept thinking about was, integrity. Ever since BSF, that is something I treasure the most, my word is my bond. Although I've probably let some of you down because of something, I hope at this point I have maintained a high level of integrity.

Then I was driving around today, in which could be my new car, the newest bad boy on the block, the 2004 Grand Prix GTP fully loaded. I was cruising down I-69 switching back and forth from automatic to manual transmission, which is probably the coolest part of this car. I have a cool engine boost on this bad boy and I can put it into overdrive. The max speed on this sucker is 140 mph, and if I purchase this thing, I wonder if I can break my record at 112 mph. The only thing I dislike about this car is that it only comes in 4 door, uh yuck.

Anyways going back to integrity, I had a long talk with a sister last night who seems to be struggling in her walk. Although, I'm not at the highest either but I just wish I could do more for her than just pray to cheer her up. I hope that what I said to her meant something and that I was honest with it and not just yapping or whatev's. Although it is hard not to judge, but what has been getting to me lately is other people's integrity. I don't want to doubt some people or not have believe in them but ya know it's just getting to that point with me. I mean if you asked me what's wrong, at this point I would just flat out say, "Nothing, just sick of some people's bullshit." I don't know how people can live with just uttering words or guarantees or promises, and not have any integrity.

As I was talking to the car salesman today, I was wondering if she was bullshitting me about the price. Or as I was watching some tv today, certain commercials talked about guarantees, yeah let me tell you their is no such thing except for Jesus's promise. Or how bout the word warranty, it seems like to some people that friendships are like a warranty, only last for an x amount of years, months, days, etc.

The tough part right now is that I know I fall short in other areas and maybe not in integrity but other sins in my life. Hmm actually I have a good one, I can think of right now about myself. Maybe like Shub's stalker counter and Big Nasty's sin counter, I should start a sin counter for myself. Anyways, at this point, if you wanna talk to me, great, but don't bullshit with me that's all I ask for, do it from the heart because you want to not because you have to. No more of these ridiculous games, please.

Faded