Well I got done talking to Carl and Melissa since they were waiting for the next class and I'm here for just chilling for now. All 3 of us have the same MTD class but I have it at a different time then they do. I told them that I don't really like the people in my class because they're all too dang clique-y. They thought it was funny how even the married peeps have their own crew. But just when Carl brought it up about the clique part of it, it got me thinking of where else I see this. After hearing it from someone else who feels this way, it made me think how sad it happens at CBC a lot too. This person had mention how they see a particular group of peeps who are new believers and could use some guidance from other believers. But it doesn't happen because we all stay in a little norm shell.

Which got me thinking about Darwinism, although I believe in creation, I see the aspect of Darwin's theory alive today. Natural selection, how often do we pick someone to talk to vs. anotheer? I know I do it myself, by why do we pick that person over another? Is it because of interests, past experiences, etc....? Survival of the fittest, some people notice how other people do they think they are stronger than others, and can't talk or relate type of thing. I'm starting to get that deja vu feeling again from 4 years ago. It often makes me wonder if the same result will happen? I mean I have God this time, but what will He do in this situation?

I feel almost stupid sometimes too now because I remember talking to Kathleen about this. We were talking about what's the definition of a friend. Her and Kristen used to have somethings going at their place, but wouldn't invite her closest friends to it because of distance. I told her that friends don't care about distance as long as they are together. Now, I realize their was another element I was missing to that. As far as they lived though, I do often wonder now how much they enjoyed driving over to Erica's or Dan's place to hangout? Well it was easier for them though because they were sisters and could rotate. But it's just that element now I feel peeps overlook.

And let's see exactly what my weekend action was? The only good part was actually getting off of work early on both days. Other than that I want to start mine on Sunday as it was fun in terms of doing my project which was observing Jonathan and Benji do their Zoom Club. It was nice to spend time with my discipler and mommy Moy. It was nice because of the genunine care I got from them, which I needed. I look at Jon Jon and just see how mature he is already for a 7 year old. He was always concerned for everyone at the table and even the waitresses. Most of all, I'm thankful for the amount of time that they took after putting the kids to bed, to just talk to me, give advice through the trials I've been dealt with, and to listen to some of my struggles. The funny part was when Kel called me and I let Christopher answer my phone. Kel kept asking "Who is this" and Christopher kept replying back "It's me". Hahah that was funny, and Benji was so cute being the "judge" during Zoom Club. I love them all so much and yes I miss Anna too.

It was fun playing football yesterday, but it pissed me off that I didn't lay out on that one pass, and also that I couldn't pull off that 1 hand grab all the way, or my mental mistake of not being aware of where the sideline markers were. It got to me where I ALMOST took a return to the house but couldn't because I was a half sec slow to cut a little quicker. I didn't realize we lost to them either, oh well their were a lot of things that I did wrong in that game. I should of gave Benito better reads of what I saw in the coverage. Man I wish we played tackle though, their would of been some good hits out there.

Now I stare at the clock to only see I have only an hour left before the football meeting starts then v-ball practice at Boulan. What I love about v-ball lately is that I can take out my frustrations out on the court by killing the ball. Some people (the opponents) were upset last week with me because they felt I took each exhibtion game too seriously. To me it's like if you don't like it or my sometimes stare down then hey stop me. I'm just frustrated lately, and this is the best way for me to get it out. I wonder if I should pull a sharpie taunt on the other team tonight?

I also wanted to give a shout out to you, for praying for me. As you can tell I still need a lot as in we all need prayer too. Thanks though for listening and your continous prayers.

Breathe

K One Three season has returned
It's been a long time
It's been a long time coming
It's life or death for me
But you know
There is no turning back now
This is what makes me
This is what I am

It's been a while since I did this, and looking at my schedule, it looks like I won't be doing this again for a while. What I'm still hung up on is this driving issue. I'm still amazed by the stupidity that we have on the road. This past weekend, I had 2 separate incidents where I am really getting irritated. First was Thursday, when I was cruising down 17 Mile on my way to my Grandma's. At Van Dyke there are 3 lanes at the intersection, 2 right turn lanes and an eastbound lane. So I in the eastbound lane, and this BMW which I was observing before the intersection zip in out of each lane. He decides to try to speed up after the intersection and get in the eastbound lane. Since I didn't like how he was driving, I did not my best for a little bit to not let him in and he was driving on the shoulder till he forced his was in between me and this SAAB. So that pissed me off, so I decided to make this out into a race on 17 Mile since it is only one lane. Obviously he is in front of me, however, I decided to drive on the Center lane and pass him and then the SAAB and squeezed back into traffic before oncoming traffic tried to use the Center lane to turn. So then he decides to attempt the same thing, and he got on the Center but by then I'm down 17 Mile going 70 mph, and no way can he catch up to me. Next red light, I just looked over at him and gave him a smirk.

Saturday morning going to b-ball, the same thing. Well actually this was more because I can't believe idiots go down 10 Mile at the speed of 35 mph. So I decided to pass this guy in the Center lane, using the Beech Rd. intersection as my passing lane. Boy this passing on Center lane stuff speeds up the driving length and it's kind of fun, but I don't recommend anyone try this on their own.

Lately I've been playing a lot of v-ball just because I want a challenge, I want to be a better play than I was yesterday. So I went to Boulan to see what offers I get to see if I can hook onto a different team instead of playing with Altair, the team I helped win a championship with last year. Yesterday was Men's Middle Division v-ball, and tonight I got a chance to play at Larson to check out the Upper Flight Co-ed league and see if anyone wanted to pick me up as a free agent. So after listening to all the offers I broke them down to this:

Mens Division-

Team name: I don't really know, but I'll just say hey they need to go in the D Division or something. The good thing about this team, is uhhh I don't know their team name. That shows how fast I went into talking to them about it.

Altair - They looked pretty good in a few exhibition games so far. Phil is already trying to restructure his team to fit me back in after seeing the talent around. They have a good chance in getting back into the finals.

7-11 & Dunkin Donuts - Eh I don't know what their team names are but, yeah Rob and I just looked over and we saw literally 14 of Saddam's cousins or something. The 7-11 team does have this one big Dhalsim looking dude who is 6'4. Man I would like to fly up over him to see what it would take to kill it against him.

Team PowerSpike: Now this team intrigued me as Larry talked to me tonight about their team. I remember talking to who I thought was their best play last year, Chris. I talked to Chris after they got bounced out of the playoffs because I felt sorry for how his team was using him. You gotta go to your bread and butter baby.

Co-ed

Team Skeenic - Gary and his whole team were very friendly in trying to recruit me for his team. I was actually kind of interested and I offered what I call my incentive package to play for his team. The incentive was, I call the shots in terms of who play's what position. Gary was cool with it, but I need to still about it.

TJ's team - TJ seemed really cool, and she was friendly as well. But the only way that I would play with them is if Chris stayed on that team. More about Chris later.

Rob's team - He talked to me afterwards saying that he would like me to play for his team and take his place once he has surgery. I'd be honored to play in his spot but if he's gone, the next best set of hands is me. Ooooo pretty scary.

So yeah, the Upper Flight is weak because I think my OU team could win first in this division. The best thing today was when Chris walked in because the last time I played with him was at the Korean Tournament. I'm glad Howard's bro came in because after that it was an Asian Invaision of jump serves and kills from us. However, I don't blame him for leaving this league to play in the Ford league with his bro. Dang it, I need to work for Ford!

So now my dilema is, to play in both these v-ball leagues or not? Hmm it's not very challenging to me in terms of talent, it's a challenge in terms of trying to make both teams a winner. Then there's U.R.A.P.K. our team name for Flag Football. Gosh before any of this, I couldn't even keep up with simple homework, what are the odds of me managing my time better with a few more activities? Exams, homework, projects, yup this is the part of school you're glad that you're missing.

Hate Me Now

Today, was I don't know if you want to call it a non-fruit producing day but that's what it seemed like since I overslept for worship. It didn't help that I came home at 7:00 this morning from playing Madden with my cuz and Frank Morningweg ;)

I've been doing a lot of thinking about Margret's letters lately. She is asking for prayers in terms of being a good witness with her money with the blessing of a new home. I'm starting to understand where she is coming from in terms of the wear and tear on her body and car of why she would move. I think that's what got to me at time when I went to SVSU, because I love to drive and all, but the scenery got too much of the same no matter all the different ways I took to get there.

Last night when I was driving to my cuz's house, it got me thinking of the good ol' days in the past. When Titans football season wasn't going on, my schedule after school would be pretty predictable for the most part. After school, go to my cuz's house to meet up with my friends and his friends to play b-ball till it got dark. We'd play at his house because his driveway was so big, with up to 18 people at his house, we would have 3 on 3 tournaments. When it got dark, we would all come in and play video games together, then the next day same thing over. Or we'd go to Dekyser to play full court and eventually went to Warrner Park. Winter time, it would be after school then we'd play football. Friday nites in the winter would be our day of going to Basketball City, Metro Hoops, Joe Dumars, Stadler Park or Roseville Gardens.

Those were the days in Sterling Whites, where I could come home and everything was within a 10 minute radius of me. We could go to Showcase and catch friday nite flicks or Blockbuster to get games. Flash forward to the present now, it would be amazing to find something within a 10 mile radius to hang with peeps. Even this morning, I woke up at 8 so I got a good one hour nap before doing that snooze thing. For the first time ever this morning, I did not have the passion to even drive to worship. I know that was or is the wrong mentality too so I need to continue to repent.

As I was even driving to and from CBC, it just seemed like the neverending drive. I did so many different things to speed up the drive such as just weaving in and out of 696. This driving thing has affected my attitude as of late, it's even got to the point where I am heavily considering going through those pretty orange cones to get around those who don't know how to merge. I was playing around with my engine oil when I got home and it's amazing that closing in on 4 weeks that I'm gonna need to change it again.

I wish I could go back to that day in my senior year where I wrote this one email to them about driving. They talked to me about it and now that I look back at it, it's kind of funny now. I was talking to V yesterday and I'm glad that she feels me on another dang issue that I never thought of. Come to think of it, she mentioned a couple of good things that I need to think about too. I'm thinking that I'm this particular cartoon character, but in a more sarcastic sense. James wrote in chapter 1 about find joy in our trials, I'm trying to think where is the joy in all this? So far the good note is, I gotta try to be thankful for being blessed with a car because not many do even have one in means of transportation.

The days of The Heights, and now instead of when I race someone, I don't or can't even call it 2 Fast 2 Furious. The new title for myself is 2 Pissed 2 Frustrated, why is it we have so many morons on the road? I'm sorry to everyone too for those who tried calling today. It was selfish of me for not picking up the phone because I just didn't want to talk to anyone. So I pray that those who called, that it was not in an emergency and that things are ok.

Throwback '96

So it's been about 25 minutes past 9-11 now. I've been just watching a movie about 9-11 then going to the news then watching all these short films about it. Yup I can still remember everything like it was yesterday, but that was then. I was walking around campus since I had time to kill before my workout. It was just a glorious day with the sun shining, and I could see the Cross Country team running, the baseball team doing stretches, students going to their classes, everything was happening as if I was stuck in the middle. Then the thought of the scene from T2 comes into play. When Linda Hamilton was standing at the fence and then boom, judgement day. Everything on campus seemed too good to be like that and I just kept looking at the sun.

I walked to Fireside Lounge, to find that they were passing out free food. At first, I was gonna grab some stuff to eat, but then I realized what it was for. It was a remembrance if you can even call it that of 9-11. They had a wall full of names of people, then a giant card for people to sign. Then I saw a big cake for this, and besides myself, some people thought OU was like doing a celebration of 9-11. Because of that feeling within me, I opted not to grab any free stuff.

Then watching the news, they were talking about rebuilding, and naming it Freedom Tower. Sounds cool, but a lot of people were upset by this. Hmmm I wonder how I would feel if I lost someone close to me, in terms of rebuild or leave Ground Zero the way it is? Nothing beats experiencing Ground Zero in person though, it just gives you a different feeling.

On the other side of my sad life at school, I was like the laughing stock of Varner Hall. Since we had to do skits today, to boost my group's spirit up, I really got into character today by using markers to paint my face. I was a Native American, with my own little tomahawk that I made, and went around killing trolls as part of our skit. Prof. Lucas said after our skit "I need to send you to a Politically Correct class because you've just killed every single type of stereotype there was today." Yeah, I love to make the class exciting, I just hate it when we work in small groups because peeps always nominate me to be the leader/director. Boy it was tough getting this marker stuff all off my face.

I went to ECN, and finally I figure her name out. It has been at the tip of my tongue, but yeah I formed my own what I call "The Retard ECN Student Section." I'm the President it seems since I talk the most, and now I have Courtney chilling with me along the wall. Plus I knew I remembered her face from MTE last year, actually Danielle remembered me before I recognized her. I'm glad she took the initiative to ask me if it was me rather than me being 8 Chi again. I got a few other peeps sitting with me, in my little student section, so ECN is quite fun for me now.

Yes! Time for another wonderful day of ABC. Actually, we hired this new girl about 3 months ago. Last week was the first time I actually talked to her because she asked me why I am always cold and anti-social to her. So I finally talked to Andrea, one thing I didn't know but I can see it now, is that she is a model and taking modeling classes. I kept thinking in my mind, how often does that happen, a model working at a chinese restaurant. Oh well, I just flat out told her that I'm there to work and not socialize, plus I told her that I like to work alone up front. In addition this helps me focus on not looking at her in any other way too.

Tonight, I Feel Close To You

You are Wolverine!

A loner by nature, you feel uncomfortable when
around those you don't know and even those you
do. You are awkward when it comes to
relationships, but fiercely loyal to those you
love.


Which X-Men character are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla

Wow it's been almost a week since I've used this thing. That's what I get for not having a good computer anymore. It's only the 2nd week of class and I have already decided to skip HST. I was already 20 minutes late and for some strange reason people actually show up to this class on time. So rather than trying to find a seat and having the stares, I just decided to do this and surf the web. Hopefully I can be a good student this week and do my reading and note taking on my own.

So I got about 45 minutes to kill till MTD starts, so I'll make this entry a long one. Well Friday nite, I finally have one allergy or that I am allergic to something. Dang it, it has to be cats! I remember back in high school when I was at Dan's house that I had the same reaction. I'll never forget that night because I wanted to rip Omega Red's head off when he told me he was using my friends to get to me. Anyways, dumb cats well actually just Kasibreeze's because I'm actually ok with GG Dune's cats.

Other than that, the whole weekend was a blank to me. Monday I went to EED 316, I think I'll like this class because I can actually goof off with the prof. This is an Arts class for elementary teachers, and the first assignment was to draw our hand. So I lifted my hand, and she told us to do some sort of gesture because it would make it easier to draw. So I did the only gesture that I know how to and that was Coug-e's favorite game. Prof. Tyson saw me and asked me to demonstrate and how my sketch to everyone. Boy, I can just imagine all the boyz, coming up to my drawing and poking holes through my paper.

Tuesday, I have come to realize I should of dropped HST. I know why Jamie told me not to take Shelly. ECN was even worst because Alex made me late for class. Although I'm started to like MTD because after the first day of that class, I called it RTD (Retard 101) because this class makes me feel that way with all the type of dancing and acting we have to do along with singing. However, I learned a lot from this class already and I can't wait to apply it to CBC when I teach Jr. Church. Yeah we definitely need to re-evaluate Tuesday nite v-ball too.

Last nite we had a pretty good Bible Study lead by Fungster. There's a lot more that I just realized we could of dove into, but couldn't due to time restraint. As it hs almost been a year since we've become a fellowship, I pray that we all can acquire the fire for this group.

So where I am at now, well only a half hour left till my next class. I need to figure out how to get to HST on time, this 8:00 class is a killer because I hate it already compared to my other past 8:00 classes. Why do we have to read so much? I wonder if I do have to read or if I will even bother? Dang it, why I can't I come up with all 12 minor prophets now either? I can only name 9 off the top of my head, this is very frustrating! Speaking of woosah too, I need to do a lot of that before I round kick this person's head off. I like my scrapbooking station I set up for myself at home too, although I actually need to do something before I get to it. When does Survivor and DBGT start? Why is it, that this thing I used to not give a crap anymore now bothering me too, it's like I just want to work on it myself to be the best at this thing to shut people up?

What will my ranking be next week as I have decided not to re-sign with Team Kosarek? This team I helped win a championship, but now I look for something more (selfish ambition?). Rob told me that I can come in and play in the pick-up games while the team captain's check out each player to see who they want to draft. I'm excited to see where I stand with a bunch of other Troy boys. I'm excited to see what the Upper Flight has to offer this year too, and more or less if a team wants me, then they just need to make sure that I'm the number 1 player and it's all good. Woohoo finally some league action starting around because I'm bored out of my mind.

Well 15 minutes left it looks like it's time for me to make my trek to MTD. Oh yeah and Yan Zi is a great singer too. Happy b-day to Jarret too, I wonder if he does feel old? So many questions so little time, ugh only 2 classes left to go before I get to work out.

The Moment

Well I just burned a whole bag of popcorn, I guess that's what I get for nuking them. Now there is this like ozone layer of smoke moving around in my house and I feel like I'm bout to pass out.

So continuing on about my last part of the day. I walked into ECON and I heard someone kept whispering my name. I looked over at the front seat and it was this one chick. I stopped and looked back over at her to see if I was hearing things because I did not recognize her. Instead, I looked back over at her, and just gave her the peace sign because I already made a fool of myself for just standing and staring at her already. As class was about to start, next thing you know Alex is in my class too. During class I kept staring at that girl, kept wondering if I knew her or not. Then it hit me, she was in my IST class, because she was the one who wanted me to go with her to go help and be an assistant coach with her for her Jr. High team. After class, I apologized to her, and she told me that she had made it on to Club at OU. Of course I was happy for her because she worked hard and is a great player. I congratulated her before we went our way, however this thought kept running through my mind, "What was her name again?"

I went to the weight room today to begin what it seemed like a long workout because I didn't like how we finished at CCUC. As I was working out, I kept thinking about Kasibreeze's comment about competition and I would say it would apply to me. She said "I am out there only to compete against myself." As I finished working out, it was nice to look over to see our team name, Titans in the intramural books for being the champs. That's another thing that got to me today though, why was it like Temptation Island in the Weight Room today. Anyways, I walked up the stairs to bump into Julie, man I missed seeing her smile around on campus. Next time I gotta talk to her longer because it looked like she packed on a few pounds, I can only guess 2 things that made her look a little um heavier (sorry J). I gotta talk to her about the whole alcohol thing. Plus this year she quit the OU Dance Team, so maybe a lack of exercise. Don't worry J, I still love ya, and you still a hottie on campus ;)

One final note after viewing the CCUC b-ball tape. I just wanted to say thank you to those who watched our games and cheered for us. Thank you to those who supported us, and I hope all of our teammates were supportive of your team too. From the bottom of my heart to everyone though that support was great because I've been thinking about how we as a body can be better supporters for each other since July. It's just something that's been on my mind, and this is just a small step in which we need to build on, in terms of being supportive for each other physically, spiritually, emotionally etc... I'm also glad this past weekend that I got to know Jarter even better as a brother, again hats off to his team.

Final thought, gotta lay down because this 2nd hand smoke is getting to me. Woohoo I'm excited though, the birth of the 5-1-4 Titans looks promising with Benito at the helm, with his Torry Holt and Issac Bruce (Gamebreaker and Da Playmaka) receivers spreading the field, and Shock-ey or I mean Coug-e playing TE, and a backfield to fear with our own Priest (Kasibreeze) and Bus (JW) we'll be rocking and a rolling as this team continues to add players. I look forward to shutting someone down, oh I'm excited if things may work itself out through God's Will.

Smokey says "Forest fires are bad" I dunno if that's what he said but dude I'm suffering from lung cancer over here so I'm gonna end it with that.

Ok so today I finally started my first day of class. Already this sucks, I went to HST 114 at 8:00 am. to sit there and figure out if my prof was a lady or a guy. Next thing I noticed is how she looks like a giraffe with a horses face speaking in a monotone voice. Gee I can see myself being really awake for this class. After that I ran across campus to go to MTD 201, the class that dropped me out and the only way to get into this special one is for the advisor to let you in. So out of 31 peeps, other than myself there is only 1 other guy in this class. This class had a lot of drama in it today because it was too full and it actually took one of the head peeps of the department to come on down to boot people out who were added in through the WEB. So now you had like 29 females in this class PMSing about why they should stay in and not be booted out. As this wasted already 40 minutes of my life away in this class, I finally just told those who were complaining "to get the steppin". Yeah it was mean, but dude we got class here for those who got in through our advisor, and yeah I am sorry because it is not their fault either.

Now all I have left is ECON 201, does this sound familiar? Yeah this semester I decided to stop doing student teaching, and go back to re-do some of my other courses again. Yeah I love school that much (sarcasim). However HST and ECON were not up to par in terms of GPA so I had to retake them, and I just tag it along with to Major ED courses. Yup it's gonna take me an eternity to graduate but I ain't complaining, kind of still like not having to go to work on a regular basis.

Anyways, I'm surprised that I haven't nodded off in class so far because we're not giving any breaks in either class! So I guess I'm gonna bust on out of here to go check out the new OC and grab a bite to eat before dreaded ECON. Afterwards, it's off to the Rec to workout and see what's going on this year for v-ball. Although I am considering going back to IM football, but I don't have my OU crew to play with, or maybe I'll try hockey. Haven't played organized hockey since like 9th grade I think it was?

The Remedy

Man, I need to get a new computer badly. Anyways, finally have some time to share what's been going on with this past weekend. This year I went to Chicago earlier than the past 3 years I've gone. I'm glad I got time to spend with Viv and check out her new place. I had lunch with her family and then we went for a long walk down Lake Shore Dr. Viv and I played sand v-ball, which was frustrating in itself. It took me a while to gather my timing since this is sand. Second, this fricking homo kept picking on Viv, that started irritating me. He kept dinking it, because Viv was playing back more, then she moves up then he starts slamming it at her. Fricking punk couldn't keep doing that to me though nor his GG partner. It was fun for me to keep dinking it at him too, and to give him a little stare just to show him that he ain't the only person on this beach that can do that. I'm glad that it was a long walk back to Viv's place because I needed to cool off.

Then came Saturday, the big day, this year it seemed like things moved very quickly or maybe it was because I played b-ball and things go at a quicker pace. It sucked that we lost to CCUC by 1 point, and all I keep hearing is the would of's, could of's, should of type of things. Gamebreaker was right though, they worked better as a team, their star players did what they were supposed to and their role players did what they had to, no complaints about it. I wish I scouted their team better, I did a poor job at checking out the matchups. I missed a free throw that game, which I feel costed us at least the tie for overtime had I made one more free throw. I wish I got the chance to take the last shot, ever since high school, I've grown accustomed to that role. Even when the games are close up at MSU, the last shot is either gonna go to Stan or myself. Oh well, now I can look at the video and break down each game to see what went wrong. I know we are a better team on paper based on talent then CCUC, but it all comes down to who wants it more. On the other hand, I'm happy for CGC for beating them though, and a big congrats to their team, they played very well as a unit.

I kept thinking where should I go to worship this past Sunday. E.Kou and his boys invited me to go to CCMC to go worship and play v-ball with them afterwards. Viv and G invited me to their church for worship, but in the end I felt God calling me to go to CCUC. Every year I go to worship there, I always learn so much more about God's Word. This year, again it was a great message in terms of the role of prayer and women.

Also I wanna give a big hats off to the CCMC team for winning the B division. Ever since last year's CCUC tournament, I predicted them to win this year. They are a very talented team, and I know how they feel about being "paper champions" because Team Bring It wasn't there this year. All dynasties must come to an end, and now CCMC has a nice little one going, which is being in the finals the past 2 years now, which in itself is a feat of it's own.

I believe another highlight for me was seeing Dan and Peter getting a chance to take home some sort of hardware this year. For the past few years now, Dan has always been so giving of himself to the C teams and it was great to see him for the first time ever get a trophy along with Peter. Hopefully, next year they can take the next step and advance to the finals.

All in all, this year was ok though, I can't say I really had a great time, could it be that I didn't get a trophy this year? Nah I don't think so because we won last year, yet I was annoyed, and this year was no different. I felt bad if I gave people attitude prob's but I think I was just tired with so many people wearing the hell out of me this past weekend. I went earlier and stayed longer hoping to get some alone time for myself, but that never happened. Then it's like people have all these great ideas, but no action and expect other's to pick it up for them, or even helping people figuring out what they should be doing. I'm thankful for KasiBreeze in helping out driving people back too.

Another beautiful day, so it's time go for a little workout again outside. Time to train for the marathon too, hopefully Dr. Kim can clear me to run this year too! Woohoo, I bought the new Jay Chou cd, and now I'm in that phase of listening to his music 24/7.

Live For The Moment