So I wasn't gonna blog today but as I continue to have an interesting conversation with another "old" friend. God says love your enemies, easier said then done I say. We'll call him, T for now. We talked about the movie, Passion. Back in the day, he used to be a church goer granted I didn't know what he was back then because I did not care about church before I knew Christ. He was talking to me about the movie of how great it is for people to see how Christ died. I mean that's great and all but I was trying to convey do you know why He died. The movie does not show that, along with this movie has a more Catholic views about it. Which leads to a major misconception of this movie, that I can think of already.

T and I then got off to conversations about the Bible. He is talking about how he is taking one of those Bible as lit courses right now. He mentioned to me that he has not touched a Bible in 5 years or so. The number 5 of course, since our graduation day, that number plays a big part later in this entry. Personally, I do not like those Bible as lit courses because it is usually taught by a non-believing prof who treats Scripture as a regular book. Which of course, if you who the Bible as your authority in life, than it should be some where offensive. Plus, if the prof is a non-believer then he does not have the Holy Spirit within him/her to discern God's Word. Again this is my own personal conviction.

So at least my part I kept getting more fired up because I felt he was picking on my faith or what not. I was offended when he treated Christianity as just a regular religion just like the others. We moved on to talk about our SHS days. T wondered when did I accept so I told him after high school, 5 years ago. I told him that I left the sellouts to go and follow Jesus. It even got to the point where I pointed him as one of those sellouts. He kept wondering what made him a sellout, and I tell it how it is, you tried to be something you ain't towards the latter part of our years. He told me who he still talks to, of course more of my once closest friends who are sellouts in my eyes.

He wondered what my favorite wine/beer is? My answer, none because I have yet to touch that stuff as a beverage. It's a question like that, that made me leave him back then. Not that I have anything against drinking anymore. But for him to drink back then was to try and fit in with everyone else who gets drunk on those weekends. Of course, then he gives me his suggestion of what I should start trying. Hmmm let me think, um no.

Like I said, I still have a tough time forgiving those whom I once cared for. I mean I treated T, like a bro. I remember his mom would always drive us to AAU at Dumars. I loved his sister, Christine as my own little sister. In the summer time, we'd always go ball together at Stadler Park and run it up over there. He was there that night I got into the fight at Metro Hoops. We've had a lot of good times together such as going to our football banquet together. In the end, though it's come to those mere acquaintances if even that. I chose to leave him and the rest of the bunch to go where the light is. Sometimes I think I've actually buried parts of my past, but then something like this comes back up. It's a struggle for me to try to make a treaty and pretend everything is ok. More things to pray about alone on this matter, because sometimes you gotta face it on your own.

The Way You Move

Well that was fast, my Spring Break is for the most part officially over. A 3 day break, why because I have Friday classes at Mott. And Wednesday I did my student teaching for the whole day. I love my kids at Edmonson. However, today I had to write my first referral to one student as he was being disruptive in the class. Man I remember getting all these, so I know the feeling. I found out next week, they will be going to Lansing. So all my kids were asking if I was gonna go because they all wanted to be in my group if I went. I thought about it throughout the day, because that day they are going to Lansing, I have a huge art exam in Japan. So do I call in my prof. to tell her that I want to make up my exam on another day and go with my kids to Lansing or do I go to class and let the kids down because I can't be with them?

Well I talked to my teacher, and she will call me back tomorrow to let me know. I've obviously have made up my mind about I'd rather go to Lansing to be with my kids and risk the lower grade for one exam in Japan.

However, do I expect everyone to make the same sacrifice as I am willing to make? I guess the love I have for my kids, is far greater than my Japan exam grade. But my downfall has been of late that I expect everyone to make the same choice as I have made. I guess that's always been a struggle of mine, personally I like setting the bar/standard/expectations high upon myself. I also expect everyone to do the same, which is really bad on my part. If I do that then I become judgemental, and self-righteous the last things that I would ever want to become. It's just something that I will have to continue to work on for myself.

Naughty Boy

Just got done ballin with Carl at this one joint in Warren. My goal was just to get my legs back and I noticed that I am developing some tendonitis in my knee again. Isn't that irritating? I didn't want to go in there and ruffle any feathers, but ya know if someone gonna try to stereotype me before seeing me even play, most def. gotta show'em up. So this one brotha thought he could hang with me, out on the break, busted out the killer crossover, and left him at the 3 point line as I sailed in for 2. Gave him a little wink of love, as the crowd ooooohhh's and ahhhhh's cause I left him scratching.

Next opponent, another brotha wearing a T-Mac jersey. I told him straight up that he was the poor man's version. He tried to cross me over, and I just ripped it. The funny part was he was still holding on to the ball then it was a wrestling match and next thing you know I have the ball standing and he's on the ground. Again, I don't go no place looking to start anything, but hey if something happens I will be there to finish it.

Speaking of which, last night I had a long talk with my cuz. The pressure is on me to perform once again, and I ain't sweatin it. I guess my cousin is setting up some b-ball games where I gotta go and face the famous Luu brothers. Last time I remember, my cuz and I smoked them for some $$$. I guess cash is on the line again. My cuz is also got me lined up to play against their family in Madden and Live '04. Peeps had some big money when it was Paul vs. me in Madden 5 years ago. I ended up losing by 1 point, as everyone was on their seat. I felt bad because those who betted on me lost their money. It left a nasty taste in my mouth that I will never forget. So now I need to start playing Madden against human players to raise my game up. Any challengers along with Live?

Young and Proud

2 seasons down 2 more to go, as I just wrapped up another v-ball season. Yes I am bummed that I could not carry this team to the playoffs. I did thank each of them for giving me a chance to run with them.

I just got done doing my QT's and I've been reading The Master's Plan for the Church. Dub-L Z mentioned it and it's been something that's been bothering me. The parts that I was reading tonight, ties it all back by using John 13. To break it down for another question, how many of you would do what that passage says at CBC?

I also took a look back at my sermon notes from this past Sunday. GP B talked about self-evaluation, and how we can even fool ourselves. As I was driving home last night, I kept thinking about another thing in my life that I wonder if I've been fooling myself. The good thing is that God is only one call away for me.

So I did nothing else but homework, v-ball, and download music. The great part about having this new computer is that I have a chance to download some praise tunes. Today I decided to go a different route. I am now currently downloading all of Ace of Base songs from it's first album. I remember when I bought the tape. Come on now, you know you liked them when they came out with The Sign :)

Happy Nation

What a weekend it was with it's ups and downs. I don't even know where to begin. I guess I'll start with the good. So this past Saturday morning, there was the birth of a new fellowship/accountability at CBC. I'm really glad that I joined just so I can continue to learn the Word of God with other godly men. I like the fact that we have homework in this group. The challenge is trying to meet for the next 10 Thursday mornings at 6:00 a.m. at CBC! I ain't sweatin it because I know peeps would bicker and then you would hear those answers that we are trying to hunt down. I broke it down, and 10 Thursday mornings let's see out of 365 days. Is it that much? I look forward to the challenge and it's all about worship/fellowship where there are still people who don't seem to understand this concept.

Then this morning, I was honored to be serving God in another way. I am now a part of the 50th CBC Anniversary committee, and I am so pschyed about it. This is my 5th year at CBC, but 50 years wow, what a blessing. I hope everyone does come back to support this celebration. Despite my probs at CBC sometimes, I still bleed CBC if you wit me.

Now which leads me to today, where I spent a good amount of time in the library. Man I have never spent 4 straight hours in there doing nothing but work! Although I am proud of myself for being very disciplined with my time and finishing a good chunk of EED354. One of the articles that I had to read was about diseases, and that the no. 1 and 3 deal with the heart. Respectively, it is a heart attack and the stroke.

A close friend of the family I had learned last night, had a heart attack earlier this week. Their business has been closed down. My mommy was talking to me about it and how their family was coping with this. I guess my parents and I are gonna try to go down to the hospital to visit. My thoughts though, is that I gotta go back to one of the places I hate the most. I have too many bad memories there, but in respect to their family, I'll go once everything is straight.

My prayers go out to Coug's family too, I know what it's like to be in that position. Hmmm that right there brings back the summer of 94. Will you please pray for my bro's family too? It's been 2 weeks now and I've had Uncle Z, whom I was praying for pass away and 2 close friends struggling with similar scenarios.

It's been tough mentally and maybe that's why I like the drive home from MSU today. No cars out, only darkness, but that light coming from my car (at a new top speed of 120 mph, my personal best) piercing through the dark. I have faith in Him that I can overcome these the cards that I've been dealt. I just to need to be on my own still...........

One Call Away

Wow, never have I been IMed by so many people at once about the Rasheed trade. Thank you to those who gave me the update as I searched frantically to read it for myself.

Analogy of how I've been feeling the past day or so:

A candle that is burning with some flicker, but it is surrounded by all this darkness. Sometimes the darkness gets the better of that candle, while sometimes the flame shines brighter than the darkness.

Along with the analogy, tonight I walked back into the Rec Center once again to rehab my knee. I noticed the weight room has been remodeled again. The room has added more bright lights to the facility. What I loved as I walked in there alone, was that everyone in the weight room had a common goal. That goal was that everyone wanted to get stronger, it didn't matter if you were a guy or a girl. Everyone was different, came from different areas, yet they all had a common goal, the same goal.

What I like about going to the Rec Center for the most part, is the comfort of being in my own castle. It's like I go in, do my thing, and get out. I don't have to worry about anyone, trust anyone (other than Him), and I just feel at peace. I went to the gym to shoot get my legs back and shoot around. I got a chance to run some games a little which was fun to see how well my knee would hold up. The best part about it was, for that 2 and half hours that I was there for, my head was clear. However, I gotta keep that candle burning.

Rollout

Woohoo, fyi to myself I forgot that I've been to Arkansas too! That makes 19 states, man not even 50 % of our US.

I've been thinking back about llz's entry about passion. I remember I gave Spongebob a hard time because she always told me her passion was for v-ball. I kept putting her down because if it was then she would play/practice more. However, after reading the definition I guess I was right about my comments. Then again, my delivery sucked and it wasn't very encouraging.

So what are my passions? I mean like llz said, we all have that passion for God but yet we all struggle with it at the same time. My passion to travel throughout the US has always been one of my lifelong goals. To say that I've driven through at least the 48 states has been a dream of mine since I was little. I love just taking spontaneous road trips on my own because it's like I feel free. I love to drive alone, it helps me reflect, and I can run on my own time table. No yapping, no complaints about AC (not on), my windows down, radio blasting away, my own time table, and dead convo's.

Another passion, b-ball (I would say v-ball but seasons are almost over) because it is just my number 1. I'm excited that I'm gonna jump the gun tomorrow and rehab my knee a few days earlier. I've been pondering if it does happen again, how do I take our Pistons to the finals at CCUC. I'm excited too, that I'll be ballin' with Carl during our Spring Break. He's a great teammate, and knows his fundamentals. I just hope his back holds up since he keeps complaining to me about how his old age syndrome is getting to him.

Take that and rewind it back
K-1-3 got the dimes to make you go....

James 2

create your own visited states map
or write about it on the open travel guide

So I had to copy this from Munying and ABCboy, actually I've been doing a lot of thinking about this. I mean my Spring Break is coming up and as Beth and I talked about it yesterday, "we be Spring Breakin' Twp style!" My parents and my sis, are going to Las Vegas in the summer, I have yet to decide if I want to go or not. I'm just not sure if I can handle the pressures of Sin City. I came close to reaching North Dakota once on my own. What a drive it was, from here all the way to about an hour away from N.D's border. I'm considering on driving back out to NYC again this summer, hmmm although it would be nice to fill up another red state on this list though.

I've been doing a lot of walking on campus a lot lately too. Just pondering about life's trival questions and why am I in the position that He as put me in. The bummer part is that I am noticing that winter is ending quicker this year. I felt like we did not get that much snow :(

Breathe

Hahah, I was reading Emoy's site and he has a good music quiz at the end of his entry. I do too know the answer to it but yet I can't play. However, he does has some wierd tastes in music. I'm straight with Trapt but everything after is like wuhhh? So I decided to create my own Soundtrack, it consists of Usher, Outkast, P.Diddy and Chingy.

Anyhoot Carl came over today and I just rocked him in NBA Live today. Our last game that we played, I used T-Mac and burned his Nets for 70 points with him alone in a 5 min. quarter games. We had some good times chillin at my place doing that and working on our classroom management project. I had some other things to say but it's like blah now because Sarah is gonna call me to wake me up so we can study for Jap.

Whatever happened to Samantha Fox?

Victory

NBA All Star weekend has come and went just like that. Frustrated, yes because I have to rest my knee still. The bright side though, is that I don't have any v-ball games this week. Which means my streak of not missing a game due to injury continues! I've had this streak since the 8th grade. Ok, grading the All Star weekend though, 3 point contest was weak because they need some stars in there like Ray Allen and Michael Redd. The Slam Dunk contest was even weaker, I mean this was as weak as you can get since they had that stupid wheel. I am really starting to miss the old days where Shawn Kemp would be the Buffalo Bills of the contest but yet he made it exciting. Not only that, the rules were so much better and each dunker got to choose the music they would be dunking to, not some stupid drum beat like this year.

Tonight was the night though where I got to watch my 4 favorite players whom I try to model my game after, The Franchise, T-Mac, The Answer, and Kobe. Back in the dayz, at my cousin's house we would be ballin everyday. The players I tried to model and study back then were Joe Dumars (loved how he lead by example), Gary Payton (loved his defense and trash talking), Reggie Miller (loved how he played in crunch time), and finally Kendall Gill (loved his athleticism as the first player ever drafted by the Charlotte Hornets).

I remember having our dunk contests at my cousin's place. I actually won it one year being the youngest one to do that. I just remember my last dunk, which was a 1 hopper off the ground then 2 handed reversal dunk. I left the crowd saying "wow that was thunderous" as the music I chose to do my dunks on at the time was Snoop's What's My Name. I wonder what kind of dunks I could do this year?

Speaking of which, I think I'm just gonna end the night on a few laps up and down the stairs. Yup, I wanna get back on the court asap!

Yeah

What an emotional Survivor tonight, it sucked because one of my four picks decided to leave the game. Jenna who won a while ago decided to leave the game because her mom was battling cancer. The ending credits appeared saying that Jenna made it to her mom's bedside in the hospital but 8 days later had lost the fight to cancer. I got a little emotional as almost each Survivor responded with their decision. Family vs. Playing the game? Tough choice, and it took courage to do what Jenna did, to step away from the game to be with her mom. I don't know if I would of done the same thing.

Today, my class had a Valentine's Day party which I wasn't expecting much because eh I don't think to much about the Hallmark Day. However, I did recieve a couple of Valentine Day Cards from Kayla and Chelsea. I also learned another thing, a couple of my 4th grade girls have a crush on me. Of course, being dumb I didn't pick it up until my teacher told me. Jonni who is very funny because all she cares about is her looks in class. Everytime I look in her desk, I see the whole Bath and Body Works store in there. I wonder if any girls I knew were ever like that. Then there is Carlee, who is cute as a button. She's just so hyper around me, but I love all my 4th graders.

I got to Astro, and hmmm let's see during lecture I had my cd player on, listening to Alisha's burned cd's. I can't believe I actually like what's her name's song Come Clean. I just finished downloading it. That's all I listened to during Astro, well besides using Alisha's laptop to watch the Toxic and With You music video during class. Despite doing this, I still don't get why Blythe and Erica insist on using my notes when they skipped during break? Time for a nice hot shower after a long day.

Fallen

So I'm known as Hobbles now in Astro class because of Blythe! I feel like Hobbles the clown or something. At least I don't have a stalker after me. B was showing me this email about this one guy in her class who is literally stalking her. He calls her every half hour, recieves emails about him wanting to make out with her, and he follows her to class. So despite my handicap I have promised her that I would be her bodyguard to class. She is getting way too paranoid as I had to check the backseat of her car today to make sure this freak was not there. I can't wait to introduce myself to Fred this week, although I don't know if he would be too intimidated by a one legged wonder.

Man Pistons lost to the Nets today too. We just can't beat a good team on the road nor score when we want to. We ain't going anywhere this season. I'm glad Darko finally raised up and said something. I mean I hate how certain teams pamper rookies and make them sit on the bench till they rot and die. Play the rookie already, geeez they ain't gonna learn anything unless they out there. I hate that type of perspective when it comes to coaching.

My Imaginary

Wow to my surprise V has made my site with links on it now. So I don't have to cruise everyone's down on Sewa and other's list. Then again I'm still missing some so V, I need some help with that too. I'm also excited now that I have a blog heckler too. I'm so flattered that I left a nice parting shot on his blog. It's like I said the other night, it's people like him who probably got abused in high school and now in front of a computer thinks they are a tough guy. I got no shame in my game and I left an open invitation for him. Death comes to us all heckler so let's see what you got.

James 1 talks about being excited through our trials. My knee is recovering slowly as I am getting closer to straightening it out. I just want to get back on the court asap and it's funny how I take the simple thing like walking for granted. The plus side though is I have spent more time doing my QT's and praying more. Sarah just called me to tell me she ain't going to Jap due to the flu. So I'm gonna have to limp my way to class to take notes with Beth and Alisha.

Yesterday, I got a nice kick in my leg too from Danielle as she thought I was faking my injury. Thanks D, I needed that while I had Carl just put his head down after that. Well at least I got the whole class believing that it was Carl who flagrant fouled me which led to my injury.

Hello

All this time I can't believe, I couldn't see
Kept in the dark but You were there in front of me
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems
Got to open my eyes to everything
Without a thought without a voice without a soul
Don't let me die here, there must be something more
Bring me to life

What a day of b-ball it was, as I tried one of the dumbest shots that I've ever taken in life. Next time I gotta remember that body does not arch and bend in the air like that. So my knee is messed up again for the 4th time now. I'm only down about it because it was a dumb move I tried to make. However, I am trying to stay positive through this and may God heal me physically asap. Luckily I don't have any games the next few days.

This morning, of course I missed worship which sucks. However, I did enjoy the Power Rangers marathon they were showing. Gosh I miss watching the old school Power Rangers and not this Dinothunder Rangers stuff. I spent the rest of the day with J-Dub, and it was just a great blessing. We went to Red Lobster, where I know I ate over 100 shrimps probably about 115. We went back to my house to watch the Chappelle show. Man we were cracking our butts off, then again it ain't the most edifying show either. The laughs was good though because it helped take my mind off my knee. I praise God though, for sending a brother like J-Dub for his own gift of healing. Oh yeah I do have a comment thingy now too, not like peeps will use it much anyways. However, thanks 5 Spice for doing that too.

Haunted

My past has come back today once again. Those people that I once cared for my Jr. High and Titans dayz have come back. However, towards the end of my senior year I left them. I left the crew that I once helped build and lead. Why because a lot of them were beginning to turn into wanna be's and the group dynamics started to changed. We went from ballin, hockey, movies, and video games to cigarettes, alcohol, sex, and drugs. Now today, I find out that one of them has returned back after I thought he had died after getting kicked out of MSU. My cousin told me today that he talked to Ron, one of my closest friends back in the day. He was one of the smartest guys I knew, always a thinker and I loved that about him. I always wanted to out think him, that was the challenge. Turn our junior year together, he started messing with that stuff. My cousin told me that he stopped smoking dope now. I guess that's great, but to me he shouldn't of been doing that in the first place.

My cousin then told me that Ron shared about my friend T.J. Now there was the Earl Boykins of our school, and one of my favorite goof offs in class with me. Ron shared with my cuz, that one of T.J.'s lung collapsed a while ago. My cousin told me that it could of been all that weed, and cigarettes that he's been smoking. To me, it's like I warn them a long time ago to stay away from that crap and no one listened, so I chose to leave them.

A few months ago, another one from the past wanted to meet up with me to discuss what had gone down in the past. The last time I met up with this fellow, I was an inch away from decking him after he shared with me of how he used the ones that I loved the most, the Carter twins against me. It was because of Erica that I promised her at that moment I would not hurt him, but next time there are no guarantees.

Ron gave my cousin his number, hoping he would pass it on to me to get in touch with him. I left those fools for a reason. My cousin tried to reason with me, saying "well it won't hurt if you talked to him." Hmmm yeah it won't hurt me, but I may hurt him. It's frustrating because God says love your enemies. How in the world am I suppose to do it on this one? I ain't one of them anymore, I'm CBC, a child of Christ. I need to seek God for guidance on this one and I gotta do this alone.

Bring Me To Life

I believe in You
I'll give up everything just to find You
I have to be with You to live, to breathe
You're taking over me

How many of us struggle with this concept, do we fear God?

Before I start I just wanna give a special shout out to good friend. I hope you have a good time with your bro and don't forget to call your mom :)

Today was just an awesome day in terms of the beauty of the weather. I was cruising down 25 Mile Rd. with my windows down, and I look across the trees. What did I see? God manifesting Himself through His creation of the Sun rising over the snow covered trees.

Then came 5:14 Fellowship tonight, I am just really taken away by Pastor Tommy. He truly has the gift of speaking and preaching God's Word. I've been reading The Master Plans for the Church, and I'm reminded just how strong prayer is and the lack of praying that I do. It's even tougher being a leader of 5:14 or anywhere because you think you can do it on your own strength, only to realize that you've failed. Often times I did that way too much and did not rely on God's power. Not only that, but as GrandPastor B said, pray for the leaders of the church. We all need prayer!

Peace and grace to all, and I hope you had fun searching for this P :Þ

Tourniquet

Today, was an up and down type of day. I get to Edmonson and I got a chance to talk to the sub who was filling in for my teacher. Wow this sub was a cutie, plus it helped that she just graduated from OU, so she knows what I am going through in the program. I pretty much got to run the class while she chipped in when I needed some help. I really like it at this school because a lot of the staff has really taking the initiative to get to know me. I decided to eat lunch with my kids today and I was surprised that no guys despite wanting me to eat with them did not sit with me :( My table consisted of all the girls from the 4th grade.

I went to my Japan class and finally we all got our exams back. I kept rubbing my eyes because I only saw 2 pink marks on my Scantron. I was so excited because I finally beat Sarah in an exam because she always rocked me in ECON last semester. I was so ecstatic that I thought I had the highest score in the class with a solid 4.0 on the first exam. However, to my dismay, this girl in front of me scored a 4.0 too. So I broke it into percentages, I got a 98% and she got a 103%. This will only motivate me to be the best in the class. On the bright side, Beth gave me a nice finger gesture because of my grade compared to her's. I'm at a crossroad in this class now that my grade has separated from the rest of the class. Do I continue to try to get the top GPA or do I hit cruise control to help my crew out in terms of Beth, Alisha, and Sarah? I don't like leaving peeps behind, so I know what I gotta do.

Finally today was the last game of the season for co-ed Troy leagues. Boy, was this a season I just want to forget. I have never lost this many games in a season. I isolated myself from the rest of the team tonight during the game. I figured if I joined them in the huddle then I would just say something discouraging. I talked to some of them and told them that I was offended in how next week they wanna go to the bar and watch the video's of our games. To me, that is something that should of been done during the season not after the season. Rob had to remind me that we are playing for fun. However, again whether this team is in first of last, I expect everyone to play with 100% heart and desire. I see people not even focused nor mentally prepared to play. I mean is it wrong of me to have that expectation? I mean I expect each game as if we are going to war as a team against another team. It's like I need all the troops to be prepared for battle. I guess this just leaves more discussion with God tonight.

Taking Over Me

Last night's Super Bowl game was one of the best I've seen. It ranks up there with the Rams vs. Titans and the Bills vs. Cowboys. The commercials sucked, I didn't care nor did I see about the whole Janet thingy. Which leaves to today, I finally got my new computer in. It's nice to be able to get back on the internet. However, I am sad because I miss my old computer. We had a lot of memories together and I'll never forget the first day we got it.

I've been debating where I wanna set this thing up. It is currently set up on my dinner table because it is not like I use it nor anyone comes over anyway. I like it this way because when I set it up last summer with my sis's computer it is in the same situation. I like it because I'm right behind the patio door and I like to go out and look at the stars, even as we speak right now.

My Aunt Lisa had a huge b-day party at her place today. Man I need to teach myself the Korean she taught me back in the day. It was nice cause my baby cuz was there along with Fred, Victor, Sonny, and Andrew. Screw the kiddy table, we had a whole kiddy room to ourselves. I took some rare pictures of them because 20 years from now this is the next generation of the family. Wendy and I took one together because we are an original 4 raised by our grandparents. However, I left the party early because of v-ball.

I've been listening to a lot of Evanescence again, I really love this cd. I noticed that I've been taking a step back and just viewing things. I'm trying not to say much and observe. I guess I've just had a lot of thoughts. I've been thinking about going on a road trip on my own very soon. Destinations include Toronto, Lexington KY, Columbus Ohio, or New York City. I just kinda wanna disappear for a little bit. I've been hearing and seeing things that just been irritating me. I spent a great deal of time in prayer last night too. Even then, afterwards I was discouraged as I continue to do my QT readings. I keep wondering what God wants me to do. I know and remind myself that His grace and peace is there. Bali's message a few years back keeps making me think about the whole Christian love aspect and what it truly is. Can't even sleep right now despite a big exam of Astro where I got Sonya, Erica, and Blythe all asking me questions. In addition, student teaching where my teacher is gone so I get a good part of the class on my own tomorrow. I guess I'll do my QT's, it's just hard when every question You ask Him, leads to more questions.

My Last Breath