Look
If you had
One shot
Or one opportunity
This is everything you ever wanted
One moment
Would you capture it
Or just let it slip?
Finally I got the 8 Mile Soundtrack, and it's just a great cd. I guess you can say I love Eminem from way back when before he became famous. Why did I like him? Because he always represented Detroit baby, my hometown, where I grew up. Other favorites of mine that came out of Detroit are I.C.P. and Kid Rock, you had to be hardcore to know who they were before they came out and became superstars. I can't wait to go see 8 Mile, I used to remember as a kid, everyday going to my grandparents restaurant and always getting off at 8 Mile.
I just got done taking my ENV exam, and dang it! Ya know the first exam everyone tells me that he posts most of the questions from the exam on his website. So I did nothing but study those questions for this 2nd exam, however out of 47 questions he only puts like 5 questions this time. And tonight I'll probably find out my sorry grade from HST.
At least I have last night to live off of for a little bit. Last night was just like a blessing in disguise and part of me wished that I could share this week for v-ball instead of last week. Like I haven't talked about this enough, is that I still get kind of bummed with some of my other friendships and where they are heading. Yeah and it's been a struggle sometimes because I dwell on it so much. However last night was just rewarding as I got an unexpected surprise for my b-day. I'm not the type of person to be telling everyone by b-day because personally I don't care about it. I think it's the age thing, and as I'm reading it everyone keeps talking about old age. Guess what, I'm still gonna be The Kid :) but I remember when I first turned 16 that was the age I wanted to stay at because all I cared about was driving. Everyone keeps talking about 21 is the age but eh I don't drink so that wasn't a big deal to me. I don't think I've ever had a surprise for my b-day like that. It was truly a memorable one, and honestly I was choked up with emotions because I didn't realize it was for me. And I just can't praise God enough for the friends that I spent last night with. Just reading the card really puts a tear in my eye. So before I get any more sappy, I just want to say thanks to JW, Phil, Larry, Chrissy, Viv, Connie, Cougar, Alan, Naomi, Cecilia, Vickie, Les, Kelly, and Andy.
25 Mile
Thursday, October 31, 2002
Tuesday, October 29, 2002
Wow it's been a while it seems like, anyways last Thursday, my HST class was cancelled, maybe Prof. Zellers isn't a bad prof after all. Nah, I think he still is one of the worst right up there with Prof. Izrealli. Survivor sucked because Robb got voted off dang it! But it's cool Erin is still my pick to win. And let's see since last Sunday I've been playing more v-ball than sleeping it seems like.
Last night was the season opener for OU IM V-ball, and I was glad that my teammates from last season were reunited, Stan, Melissa, and Jane. It's too bad Nick couldn't play with us this year, he was the X-Factor for us. And now our team, Titans (yeah gotta name it after my high school) I've added Maegan, Cindy, and Kathy. What's even more exciting is that we have so many teams in IM V-ball, that we have formed to 2 Conferences, Western and Eastern. Danielle, who works at the Rec and is in charge, purposely split up our team and Joey's team, GoodNPlenty because we're the top teams. So last night we played Vertically Challenge, and we beat them 2-1. I was upset that we lost the first game as I blame myself for the lost. Maybe I was overconfident, because when it was 9-2 I chose to sit out and conserve my energy for YCF's game. However we ended up losing 15-11 as I checked in too late. Then again, the team seemed to of had butterflies as everyone was still trying to get used to each other. So I stayed in the 2nd game and we just dominated them 15-2, and finish it off in the 3rd game. Something I've been thinking about all of last week as I've been working out to push myself at a higher level than last year, is that it gets lonely at the top ya know? I guess that's why you need faith in God to truly be satisfied and content in your life. Last night, before the game, I was looking at everyone warming up then I kind of looked outside the window, having this lonely feeling inside of me about v-ball. Like I love playing with everyone on my team, but it's not the same. No Joyce, Lindsay, Chrissy, Connie, Phil, Ting, Viv, JW, and Larry the people that I've been playing with for so long now. I guess it is like what Kabito said to Gohan about being the lone saiyan, I guess I feel like the lone CBC person at OU and I don't have them to back me up for my mistakes.
Last night I also felt that compassion that God's word speaks of, about having compassion for your enemies. Joey's team is in the Western Conference, and I knew I sensed great power, and skills from other teams. But watching Joey's team struggle against Haters R Us the way the did, made me really want to jump in and help Andi and him out. They've been in the finals the past 2 semesters now, and they got rocked a few times. Boy I never imagined that I would have it in my heart, to really want to charge up and go out and help his team out. Then again, I've got my own worries with this 6 foot plus monster on Theta Chi next week. One funny thing that did occur last night was, Jane and I were about to be ejected from the game because we were sporting red bandanas on our heads. So we were asked to take them off which sucked because we matched pretty well. Well I guess it's time to go hit the books.
Hero
Last night was the season opener for OU IM V-ball, and I was glad that my teammates from last season were reunited, Stan, Melissa, and Jane. It's too bad Nick couldn't play with us this year, he was the X-Factor for us. And now our team, Titans (yeah gotta name it after my high school) I've added Maegan, Cindy, and Kathy. What's even more exciting is that we have so many teams in IM V-ball, that we have formed to 2 Conferences, Western and Eastern. Danielle, who works at the Rec and is in charge, purposely split up our team and Joey's team, GoodNPlenty because we're the top teams. So last night we played Vertically Challenge, and we beat them 2-1. I was upset that we lost the first game as I blame myself for the lost. Maybe I was overconfident, because when it was 9-2 I chose to sit out and conserve my energy for YCF's game. However we ended up losing 15-11 as I checked in too late. Then again, the team seemed to of had butterflies as everyone was still trying to get used to each other. So I stayed in the 2nd game and we just dominated them 15-2, and finish it off in the 3rd game. Something I've been thinking about all of last week as I've been working out to push myself at a higher level than last year, is that it gets lonely at the top ya know? I guess that's why you need faith in God to truly be satisfied and content in your life. Last night, before the game, I was looking at everyone warming up then I kind of looked outside the window, having this lonely feeling inside of me about v-ball. Like I love playing with everyone on my team, but it's not the same. No Joyce, Lindsay, Chrissy, Connie, Phil, Ting, Viv, JW, and Larry the people that I've been playing with for so long now. I guess it is like what Kabito said to Gohan about being the lone saiyan, I guess I feel like the lone CBC person at OU and I don't have them to back me up for my mistakes.
Last night I also felt that compassion that God's word speaks of, about having compassion for your enemies. Joey's team is in the Western Conference, and I knew I sensed great power, and skills from other teams. But watching Joey's team struggle against Haters R Us the way the did, made me really want to jump in and help Andi and him out. They've been in the finals the past 2 semesters now, and they got rocked a few times. Boy I never imagined that I would have it in my heart, to really want to charge up and go out and help his team out. Then again, I've got my own worries with this 6 foot plus monster on Theta Chi next week. One funny thing that did occur last night was, Jane and I were about to be ejected from the game because we were sporting red bandanas on our heads. So we were asked to take them off which sucked because we matched pretty well. Well I guess it's time to go hit the books.
Hero
Thursday, October 24, 2002
So we just had a fire alarm at KL, so sorry to those I was talking to because I had to shutdown and walk outside. I never realized that many people went to our library. Boy this sugar rush is really killing me because now I'm starving with PS 241 coming up in a half hour. Tuesday I fell asleep during class and I gave a little spasm then I woke up. It's funny because Larry, JW and I were just talking about falling asleep during class and doing something retarded last week. I don't have much to say now and I guess after reading Conehead's blog, it must be a randomblog day for myself too. Maybe I'll go to class early and get some reading done, what a good boy I am.
Oh here's a lil' somethin, somethin that I've been humming in my mind as I was just surfing the web.
Do we always gotta run,
Do we always gotta hide,
Life's moving fast,
You're smoking a lot of hash,
You better get a move on,
Before it kicks you in the ass.
Why is it so hard for me to put things away in the past or even in the present? Instead why can't I focus on what God has shown me in His direction. I need to keep my faith strong, like my boy Job did back in the days. Gosh it's funny that the guy across from me keeps talking so fricking loud about fantasy hockey to this one girl. Wow is this a new way in picking up women? Maybe I should shove a hockey stick up his butt because some of us in here are trying to do work.
Lamb of God
Oh here's a lil' somethin, somethin that I've been humming in my mind as I was just surfing the web.
Do we always gotta run,
Do we always gotta hide,
Life's moving fast,
You're smoking a lot of hash,
You better get a move on,
Before it kicks you in the ass.
Why is it so hard for me to put things away in the past or even in the present? Instead why can't I focus on what God has shown me in His direction. I need to keep my faith strong, like my boy Job did back in the days. Gosh it's funny that the guy across from me keeps talking so fricking loud about fantasy hockey to this one girl. Wow is this a new way in picking up women? Maybe I should shove a hockey stick up his butt because some of us in here are trying to do work.
Lamb of God
Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courts
Than thousands elsewhere
Wow it's like 2:15 a.m. now and I'm still not sleepy even after another nite of guys nite last nite. I think it has to be all those cupcakes I ate tonight at Chrissy and Connie's place. Oh and plus all that left over frosting and the huge box of Nerds I had in my car. Because of all this sugar attack, I didn't even bother eating dinner. Boy talk about a nutrional meal after what Conehead said in her blog. Anyways, today I went to MSU to take care of a couple of things and I went to visit my sister's place. It's been a while since Labor Day that I've went to my sister's place. And now that their all settled in, I have a couple of things that I want to say. I find it funny that, one of her roommates who asked a month or two ago that she needed help on trying to quit smoking, because I still see a pack of Marlboro's on the table. I'm disappointed as well that the bottom half of the fridge contains a box of 24 pack Bud Light. Hopefully their will be that one day for my sister and her friends to turn and find their path of righteousness.
Replay of Monday nite's game against Try Again, is that we got spanked and even shut out! I got schooled 2-3 times by Phil's friend Jen. I don't want to take any credit away from their win but I know for a fact that we can beat them. I remember talking to this one lady who organizes the league and she kept talking to me about how a lot of the teams have played together for so many years and that you can tell which teams are newly formed while others have played for the longest time. I agreed with her because I've played against some of these teams for the past 2 years now. And so sometimes it's frustrating to see our team lose because our lack of team chemistry is there which in overall is our communication. I always said that talent can only take you so far but chemistry is what pushes a team higher. I'm starting to understand what Howard's been teaching me about our Men's v-ball team and how we need to keep our chemistry.
I went to OU after our game to play some more v-ball and to check out the talent of this year's league. The comparisons have begun now, between Joey and I to see who is the MVP of this semester. I gotta say that he has improved this past summer so I've been pushing myself on Tuesday with Melissa, to keep me ahead of him. What sucks now is that I got this bruise on my hip bone which is causing me to walk with a limp. I got this on Tuesday night, I dove straight down hard on my side to pancake because our team was so great with their passing. So it's been difficult to sleeping on that side, but I just got done running up and down the stairs for a little bit and it feels a little better. I must say it's gotta be that frosting, dang it that's given me so much energy.
And just a random thought as it hit me while I was driving home after CYAF. Gosh I can't believe how much Connie and Chrissy's dad reminds me of my daddy. I'm starting to understand how my parents, Rich's parents, and the Cheung sister's parents were so tight back then. Actually after thinking about it, it's kind of amazing how God has placed us, Rich, Connie, Chrissy, and I staying tight kind of like today's Bible Study about generations come and generations go. And it looks like Rich already got a jump on us for the 3rd generation with Audrey. But I don't think anyone should be looking on me to keeping the 3rd generation going. It's just amazing that what holds true in the OT still holds true today.
And final thought of the day, is have you ever wished that you could be there and do things that you have in your mind? But God's guiding you in another direction and you're kind of hesistant about going because you wanna go back towards the other way. Well I gotta give all the praise to God as He's provided CYAF or possibly TF (Transformers Fellowship) that I can really feel the fire for God and to truly focus on serving Him.
God of Wonders
Better is one day in Your courts
Than thousands elsewhere
Wow it's like 2:15 a.m. now and I'm still not sleepy even after another nite of guys nite last nite. I think it has to be all those cupcakes I ate tonight at Chrissy and Connie's place. Oh and plus all that left over frosting and the huge box of Nerds I had in my car. Because of all this sugar attack, I didn't even bother eating dinner. Boy talk about a nutrional meal after what Conehead said in her blog. Anyways, today I went to MSU to take care of a couple of things and I went to visit my sister's place. It's been a while since Labor Day that I've went to my sister's place. And now that their all settled in, I have a couple of things that I want to say. I find it funny that, one of her roommates who asked a month or two ago that she needed help on trying to quit smoking, because I still see a pack of Marlboro's on the table. I'm disappointed as well that the bottom half of the fridge contains a box of 24 pack Bud Light. Hopefully their will be that one day for my sister and her friends to turn and find their path of righteousness.
Replay of Monday nite's game against Try Again, is that we got spanked and even shut out! I got schooled 2-3 times by Phil's friend Jen. I don't want to take any credit away from their win but I know for a fact that we can beat them. I remember talking to this one lady who organizes the league and she kept talking to me about how a lot of the teams have played together for so many years and that you can tell which teams are newly formed while others have played for the longest time. I agreed with her because I've played against some of these teams for the past 2 years now. And so sometimes it's frustrating to see our team lose because our lack of team chemistry is there which in overall is our communication. I always said that talent can only take you so far but chemistry is what pushes a team higher. I'm starting to understand what Howard's been teaching me about our Men's v-ball team and how we need to keep our chemistry.
I went to OU after our game to play some more v-ball and to check out the talent of this year's league. The comparisons have begun now, between Joey and I to see who is the MVP of this semester. I gotta say that he has improved this past summer so I've been pushing myself on Tuesday with Melissa, to keep me ahead of him. What sucks now is that I got this bruise on my hip bone which is causing me to walk with a limp. I got this on Tuesday night, I dove straight down hard on my side to pancake because our team was so great with their passing. So it's been difficult to sleeping on that side, but I just got done running up and down the stairs for a little bit and it feels a little better. I must say it's gotta be that frosting, dang it that's given me so much energy.
And just a random thought as it hit me while I was driving home after CYAF. Gosh I can't believe how much Connie and Chrissy's dad reminds me of my daddy. I'm starting to understand how my parents, Rich's parents, and the Cheung sister's parents were so tight back then. Actually after thinking about it, it's kind of amazing how God has placed us, Rich, Connie, Chrissy, and I staying tight kind of like today's Bible Study about generations come and generations go. And it looks like Rich already got a jump on us for the 3rd generation with Audrey. But I don't think anyone should be looking on me to keeping the 3rd generation going. It's just amazing that what holds true in the OT still holds true today.
And final thought of the day, is have you ever wished that you could be there and do things that you have in your mind? But God's guiding you in another direction and you're kind of hesistant about going because you wanna go back towards the other way. Well I gotta give all the praise to God as He's provided CYAF or possibly TF (Transformers Fellowship) that I can really feel the fire for God and to truly focus on serving Him.
God of Wonders
Monday, October 21, 2002
I tell myself
Hey only fools rush in
Only time will tell if we stand the test of time
All I know
You got to run to win
I'll be dang if I get hung up on the line
Hey, no I can't recall anything at all
Wooo it's got what it takes
So tell me why can't this be love
You want it straight from the heart
Oh tell me why can't this be love?
Wow was it just me or really praise God for the good competition that came out on Saturday morning. However, at one point I did feel bad for my actions. Their is this one guy, who I guess JW so kindly named him Truck that pissed me off. As I turned the corner to guard my guy, he just popped up for a quick hip-check and instantly knocked me to the ground. I got back up and got in his face because it was an illegal pick. The last time I got blindsided like that was a few months ago at MSU during a b-ball tournament where this monster guy just knocked me to the ground and the ref called it. I finished the game, however afterwards, SammeeQ was nice enough to nurse my shoulder with ice and put it in a sling for me. And also as I was racing for the ball, Saturday, Alex bumped JW and JW fell onto me my left leg and ultimately twisted my knee and rolled on top of it. I don't know if it is a hyperextention or strain, but it just feels like my knee is out place.
And yesterday, I went to Cornerstone Christian Fellowship Church to worship with them. It was the first time I ever that I've gone to another church to worship by myself. It was also nice to worship with brothers and sisters in the Lapeer area. As I was driving looking for this place, the area made me think back of the place I stayed at over the summer while in NJ. And this church I believe is a good reminder for all of us who tends to think of a church is a building with a cross. But this place was nothing like that, it was like an office building, however a church is the body of people who worship our God. I remembered that from last year's music seminar I went to at CBC. But the people their were just so loving, supportive, and they welcomed me with open arms. I met this one guy, Dennis, a godly man indeed, and he asked me to start coming to Cornerstone to take his place in ministry as he was leaving to Florida for good because of a new job. And I felt honored to be there yesterday as they had a special service, since it was their 6 year anniversary. You can tell that God has done wonders with this body of believers, yesterday was just an amazing experience.
Driving back down to get to my soccer game I had a little encounter with about at least 20 biker dudes. And some peeps been asking what happenned, so I'll give the details. I'm driving down M-24 and I am in the right lane about to get on I-75, the biker gang was in the middle lane. Now they realized that the exit ramp to I-75 was on the right lane. So they all tried to cut over together but I was in the middle of them. So their is this one biker who tried to join his buddies by trying to get all the way around me, as I'm getting on the ramp. So he thinks that I purposely cut him off, and I'm like dude I was already on the right lane getting on to the ramp. So then he proceeded to drive on the shoulder to get ahead of me, and once he did all I could do was laugh. Because as soon as he got in front of me, he braked really hard, turned around to look at me, gave me the number 1 finger salute, and said "F*** You". All I could do when he looked at me and did was smile and laugh, kind of in a taunting matter because if I was pissed then that would give him the satisfaction that he pissed me off. But I laughed and that only irritated him even more. Once on the freeway, I went to the middle lane, and this guy cut in front of me again, and hit his brakes hard again forcing the both of us to go about 40mph on I-75. I don't know if this guy was high or anything because ummm yeah I'm driving in a car, and he is in his harley. If I hit him while he was braking, he would die. Anyways, I cut about 2 lanes over to the left, and got up to my max speed, about 110-112 mph till the governor kicked in. While I passed him cutting over, he looked at me again, and I smiled, blew him a kiss, and gave the peace sign to him. Which of course only irritated him even more as I'm having fun and he is gettin even more pissed. So he decided to tail gate me at speeds of 110 mph down I-75, now let's think for a moment here. Again I am in a car, and if I braked at 110 mph instantly, with him tailgating me, wouldn't he just fly over my car if I had done that, and again killed him instantly? Gosh, this one biker is just really stupid. So I realized the time, and that I couldn't joke around him even more due to the soccer game, I quickly exited onto Square Lake, but of course he kept following me. However, I lost him going 110 mph down Square Lake and I made a quick U to get back onto I-75. While I'm heading east on Square Lake, the biker was heading west still looking for me and as he saw me across the island, I just waved my hand good bye, smile and stuck my tongue at him because he had just gotten smoked, and outsmarted by your's trully. Again when it comes down to street racing, mess with the best die with the rest.
Then that leads to the soccer game, and as a team we played better this time around. I believe the upgrades of Ray, David, Chrissy, and Naomi helped out. I wish this was like football, because I wanna say I had the hit of the game, knocking down one of their guys on his back. I played a little more aggressive but now I need to help out even more on offense, as I blew 3 scoring opportunities. I hope Chrissy and Naomi had a great time and would be interested in joining Zion United. What sucked was that I kept cramping up and as I woke up this morning I felt like my body was broken in half. But I gotta suck up for tonight's v-ball action against the number 1 team in the league, Try Again then it's off to OU to play some more because I need to start scouting this year's competition for IM v-ball.
Panama
Hey only fools rush in
Only time will tell if we stand the test of time
All I know
You got to run to win
I'll be dang if I get hung up on the line
Hey, no I can't recall anything at all
Wooo it's got what it takes
So tell me why can't this be love
You want it straight from the heart
Oh tell me why can't this be love?
Wow was it just me or really praise God for the good competition that came out on Saturday morning. However, at one point I did feel bad for my actions. Their is this one guy, who I guess JW so kindly named him Truck that pissed me off. As I turned the corner to guard my guy, he just popped up for a quick hip-check and instantly knocked me to the ground. I got back up and got in his face because it was an illegal pick. The last time I got blindsided like that was a few months ago at MSU during a b-ball tournament where this monster guy just knocked me to the ground and the ref called it. I finished the game, however afterwards, SammeeQ was nice enough to nurse my shoulder with ice and put it in a sling for me. And also as I was racing for the ball, Saturday, Alex bumped JW and JW fell onto me my left leg and ultimately twisted my knee and rolled on top of it. I don't know if it is a hyperextention or strain, but it just feels like my knee is out place.
And yesterday, I went to Cornerstone Christian Fellowship Church to worship with them. It was the first time I ever that I've gone to another church to worship by myself. It was also nice to worship with brothers and sisters in the Lapeer area. As I was driving looking for this place, the area made me think back of the place I stayed at over the summer while in NJ. And this church I believe is a good reminder for all of us who tends to think of a church is a building with a cross. But this place was nothing like that, it was like an office building, however a church is the body of people who worship our God. I remembered that from last year's music seminar I went to at CBC. But the people their were just so loving, supportive, and they welcomed me with open arms. I met this one guy, Dennis, a godly man indeed, and he asked me to start coming to Cornerstone to take his place in ministry as he was leaving to Florida for good because of a new job. And I felt honored to be there yesterday as they had a special service, since it was their 6 year anniversary. You can tell that God has done wonders with this body of believers, yesterday was just an amazing experience.
Driving back down to get to my soccer game I had a little encounter with about at least 20 biker dudes. And some peeps been asking what happenned, so I'll give the details. I'm driving down M-24 and I am in the right lane about to get on I-75, the biker gang was in the middle lane. Now they realized that the exit ramp to I-75 was on the right lane. So they all tried to cut over together but I was in the middle of them. So their is this one biker who tried to join his buddies by trying to get all the way around me, as I'm getting on the ramp. So he thinks that I purposely cut him off, and I'm like dude I was already on the right lane getting on to the ramp. So then he proceeded to drive on the shoulder to get ahead of me, and once he did all I could do was laugh. Because as soon as he got in front of me, he braked really hard, turned around to look at me, gave me the number 1 finger salute, and said "F*** You". All I could do when he looked at me and did was smile and laugh, kind of in a taunting matter because if I was pissed then that would give him the satisfaction that he pissed me off. But I laughed and that only irritated him even more. Once on the freeway, I went to the middle lane, and this guy cut in front of me again, and hit his brakes hard again forcing the both of us to go about 40mph on I-75. I don't know if this guy was high or anything because ummm yeah I'm driving in a car, and he is in his harley. If I hit him while he was braking, he would die. Anyways, I cut about 2 lanes over to the left, and got up to my max speed, about 110-112 mph till the governor kicked in. While I passed him cutting over, he looked at me again, and I smiled, blew him a kiss, and gave the peace sign to him. Which of course only irritated him even more as I'm having fun and he is gettin even more pissed. So he decided to tail gate me at speeds of 110 mph down I-75, now let's think for a moment here. Again I am in a car, and if I braked at 110 mph instantly, with him tailgating me, wouldn't he just fly over my car if I had done that, and again killed him instantly? Gosh, this one biker is just really stupid. So I realized the time, and that I couldn't joke around him even more due to the soccer game, I quickly exited onto Square Lake, but of course he kept following me. However, I lost him going 110 mph down Square Lake and I made a quick U to get back onto I-75. While I'm heading east on Square Lake, the biker was heading west still looking for me and as he saw me across the island, I just waved my hand good bye, smile and stuck my tongue at him because he had just gotten smoked, and outsmarted by your's trully. Again when it comes down to street racing, mess with the best die with the rest.
Then that leads to the soccer game, and as a team we played better this time around. I believe the upgrades of Ray, David, Chrissy, and Naomi helped out. I wish this was like football, because I wanna say I had the hit of the game, knocking down one of their guys on his back. I played a little more aggressive but now I need to help out even more on offense, as I blew 3 scoring opportunities. I hope Chrissy and Naomi had a great time and would be interested in joining Zion United. What sucked was that I kept cramping up and as I woke up this morning I felt like my body was broken in half. But I gotta suck up for tonight's v-ball action against the number 1 team in the league, Try Again then it's off to OU to play some more because I need to start scouting this year's competition for IM v-ball.
Panama
Friday, October 18, 2002
Look's like I'm gonna do everything myself
Maybe I could use some help
But hell if you want some done right, you gotta do it yourself
Maybe life is up and down
But my life's been what to now
Crawled up your butt from how
And that's how things got turned around
What's done is done
Just leave it alone and don't regret it
Sometimes, somethings turn into dumb things
And that's when you put your foot down
Why did I have to meet somebody like you?
How could you do somebody like that?
Don't you know that I'm never coming back
Wow how my Thursday went from this morning till now. Ya know, whether I flunked, failed, or passed this HST exam I am just happy finally for a little breather. Even though i know I bombed because for some strange reason, our prof requires a 4 page answer for his last essay. Dude how the heck can you possibly get 4 pages, unless you are a major BSer, I could barely crack 2 pages for my last answer. I gotta tell you that I studied pretty hard for this exam, and you've gotta be insane to be able to pull off a 4 page answer with these questions. I'm already disappointed with my term paper grade. I just want everyone to know for those who are planning on attending OU or are attending OU, do not take Prof. Zellers, he is on my bad prof. list.And tonight I've come to the conclusion that after this week, I need to cut down on the guys night. I need to challenge myself to get caught up in my classes, sorry fellas, hopefully we can finish the season soon.
Tonight I walked into the Rec Center, to see if anyone's playing v-ball, and I ran into all the b-ball guys. I walked in feeling like a scrub ya know. Back in high school, I was able to walk into our gym floor, or go to Dumars, Metro Hoops, or Basketball City and all the brotha's would know who I am cuz I got skillz and that I was their every night till closing balling with the best of them. I miss that feeling of people knowing who I am, and tonight just watching everyone playing made me realize that I gotta hit the weight room and courts more often at OU to gain everyone's respect as the Asian Superstar. You can ask any baller, and playin with the brotha's is the only way to get your game to a higher level. Since I've been on this competitive roll lately, I guess I wish more brotha's would play ball at CBC on Saturday mornings to spark up the competition as well. I miss those nights playing with and against them in my high school days.
And I guess I understand why people say, if you don't look for it, it will come to you, or some mumbo jumbo like that. Boy did I have that experience today and it was quite flattering. I guess I need to watch my steps because I'm just trouble.
And finally, I thought I was stress free for the next couple of days. Just got done watching Survivor and the peeps I wanted on are still on. But no, some peeps just don't know when to mind their own business. I'm glad that we don't have like mock elections at CBC because man this person would be bringing home one heck of a trophy. And last week we had the first 5 ways of how to kill a church, and after tonight, I can only take a shot at what the last couple of them are. I really hope that God can prepare me for what lies ahead, and makes me a more encouraging believer to everyone, instead of looking down on others.
My Way
Maybe I could use some help
But hell if you want some done right, you gotta do it yourself
Maybe life is up and down
But my life's been what to now
Crawled up your butt from how
And that's how things got turned around
What's done is done
Just leave it alone and don't regret it
Sometimes, somethings turn into dumb things
And that's when you put your foot down
Why did I have to meet somebody like you?
How could you do somebody like that?
Don't you know that I'm never coming back
Wow how my Thursday went from this morning till now. Ya know, whether I flunked, failed, or passed this HST exam I am just happy finally for a little breather. Even though i know I bombed because for some strange reason, our prof requires a 4 page answer for his last essay. Dude how the heck can you possibly get 4 pages, unless you are a major BSer, I could barely crack 2 pages for my last answer. I gotta tell you that I studied pretty hard for this exam, and you've gotta be insane to be able to pull off a 4 page answer with these questions. I'm already disappointed with my term paper grade. I just want everyone to know for those who are planning on attending OU or are attending OU, do not take Prof. Zellers, he is on my bad prof. list.And tonight I've come to the conclusion that after this week, I need to cut down on the guys night. I need to challenge myself to get caught up in my classes, sorry fellas, hopefully we can finish the season soon.
Tonight I walked into the Rec Center, to see if anyone's playing v-ball, and I ran into all the b-ball guys. I walked in feeling like a scrub ya know. Back in high school, I was able to walk into our gym floor, or go to Dumars, Metro Hoops, or Basketball City and all the brotha's would know who I am cuz I got skillz and that I was their every night till closing balling with the best of them. I miss that feeling of people knowing who I am, and tonight just watching everyone playing made me realize that I gotta hit the weight room and courts more often at OU to gain everyone's respect as the Asian Superstar. You can ask any baller, and playin with the brotha's is the only way to get your game to a higher level. Since I've been on this competitive roll lately, I guess I wish more brotha's would play ball at CBC on Saturday mornings to spark up the competition as well. I miss those nights playing with and against them in my high school days.
And I guess I understand why people say, if you don't look for it, it will come to you, or some mumbo jumbo like that. Boy did I have that experience today and it was quite flattering. I guess I need to watch my steps because I'm just trouble.
And finally, I thought I was stress free for the next couple of days. Just got done watching Survivor and the peeps I wanted on are still on. But no, some peeps just don't know when to mind their own business. I'm glad that we don't have like mock elections at CBC because man this person would be bringing home one heck of a trophy. And last week we had the first 5 ways of how to kill a church, and after tonight, I can only take a shot at what the last couple of them are. I really hope that God can prepare me for what lies ahead, and makes me a more encouraging believer to everyone, instead of looking down on others.
My Way
Thursday, October 17, 2002
Another Thursday, another fricking exam, that's been 3 Thursdays in a row now that I've had an exam. I can only thank God that next week, nothing is actually do! So last night as I came home from dinner with CYAF, I busted out the books and was about to study for HST. Viv called but dang it I missed her call, sorry I had Dragon Ball Z turned up too loud. After that, I'm thinking history, study, history, study, that was all running in my mind, history, study, history, study, ummm nap then history, study, history, zzzzzzzzz, next thing I know, I wake up and it's time for ENV 308. Dang it! So now I'm bout to study with Melissa but I'm having too much fun procrastinating again.
Mmmmmm Nerds are such a good snack to eat during studying. Speaking of nerds, yeah that's what Melissa and I are since we're suppose to go play some v-ball but now opted to study at the KL. The v-ball season at OU is only 2 weeks away and that is when the Titans (that's us) defend our title. It sucks that Nick isn't playing this year because he was a pretty average player, but I respected what he saw that I might of missed. The core of this team is Melissa, Jane, and I, I must say it's a lot different than being part of my own core at CBC. Ooooh well, a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do. Yesssss after the final tonight I get to go home early. How early, ummm I'm hoping to finishing this bad boy by 8.
Resonate
Mmmmmm Nerds are such a good snack to eat during studying. Speaking of nerds, yeah that's what Melissa and I are since we're suppose to go play some v-ball but now opted to study at the KL. The v-ball season at OU is only 2 weeks away and that is when the Titans (that's us) defend our title. It sucks that Nick isn't playing this year because he was a pretty average player, but I respected what he saw that I might of missed. The core of this team is Melissa, Jane, and I, I must say it's a lot different than being part of my own core at CBC. Ooooh well, a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do. Yesssss after the final tonight I get to go home early. How early, ummm I'm hoping to finishing this bad boy by 8.
Resonate
Wednesday, October 16, 2002
Wow, it actually happenned, what I couldn't thought happenned. So what happenned, well last night's v-ball games actually meant something. Finally we got some good hardcore v-ball going, again I say there is a time to play v-ball and then there is a time to outreach like that is what happenned. Not much else to say since I've been having nap intervals so can't go into deep concentration. Oh I beat Pokemon Red Version last night, woohoo!
Live For The Moment
Live For The Moment
Tuesday, October 15, 2002
Ok, I don't know what's wrong with my AOL lately because everytime I write something, as soon as I am about done, bam it fricking kicks me off. So now I doing right here at the OU library where I should be studying with Melissa. So what do I have to say? Well Viv is gone and I'm glad I got to see her before she left for Chi-Town. Zion United played our first soccer game on Sunday and we got smoked. It just frustrated the heck out of me because the goal of this team was too play well and have fun. So that is why we practiced every Thursday nights. However until the weather got colder the attendance started to drop. Some of us couldn't go anymore due to school and work. However the others I know are just a bunch of wusses and again I say it frustrates the hell out of me seeing us play. Because it's like well the weather is colder now and we don't need to practice, but I know our game will show up when it comes down to game time. Well hopefully this past Sunday it was a reality check for those people, I mean I'm not the best on the team either but dang it, if it wasn't for class I would be there to practice.
Then last night, we lost to Pfizer 1-2 which blows. Gosh dang it I need to start getting ther early now because it's frustrating trying to play without even touching a ball. This game was very competitive and boy did my energy surge up when me and this one girl were talking to the ref. Nothing better than talking a little smack, and afterwards, I talked to probably in my mind the MVP of this league, Chris. Every Monday night we usually talk, and we have nothing but the utmost respect for each other's game. I love how he plays the game, so smart and instinctive on what to do. I hope we play their team again in the playoffs so I can talk a little more smack at their girls though.
And that leads to today, I just got done playing with Melissa and now we're suppose to be studying but instead I'm in here. I got to talk to Kelly today because she usually hooks me up with info of what's been going on in the sporting world at OU. I tried to recruit her for our team because she's not a bad player, but she wants to head a free agent team instead. And this one girl, Kathy is paranoid of playing with me because I want good player on this team. Dang it, Melissa recruited her and she wants to recruit some guy, and I told her he needs to be good. And speaking of good players, ok I feel like I am regressing partially now due to the lack of competition on Tuesday nights now. I quote this from a couple of people now "it's not fun playing now at CBC" And dang it these people are right, again I say their is a time to outreach and a time to play some v-ball. I am seriously praying that tonight will be competitive right from the get go. But then again it is probably too much to ask for. I mean it's like ooooh we gotta reach out to the people who aren't as good at v-ball, so we gotta sacrifice those players who are good but are non-believers. Isn't both their salvations just as important? It's like we gotta mix up teams so those people who aren't as good or who go their for rec, get some fun in while those of us who wanna play hardcore gotta suffer. If tonight's v-ball action fricking blows monkey nuts again, I am seriously just considering posting up our Tuesday night v-ball to DetroitVPC so as JW and I would say, get some SS 3 players in here. Ok so the complaint could be, oh it's a sports outreach, dang it then let's play the fricking game like it's meant to be played. Again everyone grab a Bible and read Ecc. 3, their is a time for everything, a time to outreach and a time to play some v-ball. This fricking sucks I'm already complaining about Tuesday night v-ball when I haven't even played yet. So is tonight gonna blow baby mountain goats or are we actually gonna play? I guess we'll have to wait and see.
Jump
Then last night, we lost to Pfizer 1-2 which blows. Gosh dang it I need to start getting ther early now because it's frustrating trying to play without even touching a ball. This game was very competitive and boy did my energy surge up when me and this one girl were talking to the ref. Nothing better than talking a little smack, and afterwards, I talked to probably in my mind the MVP of this league, Chris. Every Monday night we usually talk, and we have nothing but the utmost respect for each other's game. I love how he plays the game, so smart and instinctive on what to do. I hope we play their team again in the playoffs so I can talk a little more smack at their girls though.
And that leads to today, I just got done playing with Melissa and now we're suppose to be studying but instead I'm in here. I got to talk to Kelly today because she usually hooks me up with info of what's been going on in the sporting world at OU. I tried to recruit her for our team because she's not a bad player, but she wants to head a free agent team instead. And this one girl, Kathy is paranoid of playing with me because I want good player on this team. Dang it, Melissa recruited her and she wants to recruit some guy, and I told her he needs to be good. And speaking of good players, ok I feel like I am regressing partially now due to the lack of competition on Tuesday nights now. I quote this from a couple of people now "it's not fun playing now at CBC" And dang it these people are right, again I say their is a time to outreach and a time to play some v-ball. I am seriously praying that tonight will be competitive right from the get go. But then again it is probably too much to ask for. I mean it's like ooooh we gotta reach out to the people who aren't as good at v-ball, so we gotta sacrifice those players who are good but are non-believers. Isn't both their salvations just as important? It's like we gotta mix up teams so those people who aren't as good or who go their for rec, get some fun in while those of us who wanna play hardcore gotta suffer. If tonight's v-ball action fricking blows monkey nuts again, I am seriously just considering posting up our Tuesday night v-ball to DetroitVPC so as JW and I would say, get some SS 3 players in here. Ok so the complaint could be, oh it's a sports outreach, dang it then let's play the fricking game like it's meant to be played. Again everyone grab a Bible and read Ecc. 3, their is a time for everything, a time to outreach and a time to play some v-ball. This fricking sucks I'm already complaining about Tuesday night v-ball when I haven't even played yet. So is tonight gonna blow baby mountain goats or are we actually gonna play? I guess we'll have to wait and see.
Jump
Thursday, October 10, 2002
Ya know what blows? Is that I had this monstrous entry yesterday and it got erased because I lost my connection on dumb AOL! Anyways most of it was about how crappy it was playing v-ball these past couple of Tuesday nights. And again I say in Ecc. chapter 3, it talks about there is a time for everything. So there is a time to witness, a time to outreach, and there is time to play some hardcore v-ball. Ya know playing on these mixed teams where half the people don't care if they get better or not is not helping some of us out here. How do I know that they don't care about getting better, well half the people there have been going to v-ball longer than I have! Anyways I complained about it enough last night.
Speaking of last night, God has planted a seed in what is now called CYAF, and it's pretty cool how we're doing things because we can do things on the fly. So what does CYAF stand for? Well it stands for Cool Young Adults Fellowship, it beats out YFF, which Young Family Fellowship aka Ambassadors, not to hate on them but ya know, once you have kids it's all down hill. But am I an adult? Dude I'm the only one still in school from this group, and I know I ain't old. Why? Because I'm still The Kid. Mmmmm caramel apples rule too!
Well it's like 1:45 p.m. right now and I'm like butt late too class. I already tanked on this morning's exam because our dumb butt professor doesn't believe in giving us review sheets. But now I know how to prepare for his exams because Erin got a 93% on her exam. Dang it! She did twice as good as I did! Well Viv should be on her way back and I just got back from bringing her mama home. Hopefully she has a nice safe flight back. Gosh is it just me or is airport security really anal these days? Driving around the new terminal today, I've already got this master plan to blow up the airport if I wanted too. And here I see Mr. Airport Patrol think they've got this place locked down or something. I still wanna blow that one guy up who gave me my parking ticket at the airport. Even though I should really blame it Osama because if it wasn't for him, our airports wouldn't be having this anal security. Oh well time to go to class, wow class is sooo much shorter today :) Thanks for the shout out sis! Much love to ya, Laura and keep writing because I do get bored!
Lose Yourself
Speaking of last night, God has planted a seed in what is now called CYAF, and it's pretty cool how we're doing things because we can do things on the fly. So what does CYAF stand for? Well it stands for Cool Young Adults Fellowship, it beats out YFF, which Young Family Fellowship aka Ambassadors, not to hate on them but ya know, once you have kids it's all down hill. But am I an adult? Dude I'm the only one still in school from this group, and I know I ain't old. Why? Because I'm still The Kid. Mmmmm caramel apples rule too!
Well it's like 1:45 p.m. right now and I'm like butt late too class. I already tanked on this morning's exam because our dumb butt professor doesn't believe in giving us review sheets. But now I know how to prepare for his exams because Erin got a 93% on her exam. Dang it! She did twice as good as I did! Well Viv should be on her way back and I just got back from bringing her mama home. Hopefully she has a nice safe flight back. Gosh is it just me or is airport security really anal these days? Driving around the new terminal today, I've already got this master plan to blow up the airport if I wanted too. And here I see Mr. Airport Patrol think they've got this place locked down or something. I still wanna blow that one guy up who gave me my parking ticket at the airport. Even though I should really blame it Osama because if it wasn't for him, our airports wouldn't be having this anal security. Oh well time to go to class, wow class is sooo much shorter today :) Thanks for the shout out sis! Much love to ya, Laura and keep writing because I do get bored!
Lose Yourself
Tuesday, October 08, 2002
Ok, so last night we defeated The Other Team 2-1 and I'm glad that everyone on the team had fun. So much fun that we all went out to the bar and it was a good time to just chill. For a second place team though, that team still sucks in my opinion. However, I couldn't enjoy myself as much as I felt like it's my fault that we lost that last game. Was it just me or did last night go by really fast. 2 plays that stuck out in my mind was the bad pass I gave where I got called for a double hit or lift, and the last play of the game where I hit right into the net. If their's one thing I love to study, it is studying how I play and how other teams play. Since we don't have these games on tape, I make mental notes of how I played and other teams. It took me a while to figure out what I did wrong and how did I hit it into the net, and after talking to Chrissy, and I know she is right that I just thought way too much in the air of where I wanted to go line or angle. By the time I made up my mind, I hit it right into the net and I came crashing to the floor already knowing that I hit it into the net just screaming out "SHIT!" It's one of the toughest things in the world is trying to lead a team when people have high expectations of you when you're considered a top player. When you do good, obviously people will say what a great job you did, but when you do bad, everyone gets on you. Like Tim Couch got hurt on Sunday, and he was playing bad, and his own fans cheered when he got hurt. That is just one of the worst feelings in the world. I know I've had my successes in leading a team and I'm thankful that those things happenned, by why do all the shortcomings stick out in my mind? Even just this past Saturday, I missed an easy shot for the game winner, and the other team took it all the way back to end the game. My teammates kept asking or telling me, how could you of missed that shot. All I could do was take the blame because I had the shot and missed it. Just like last night, I had a terrific set from Chrissy and I killed it right into the net.
I hate to lose, it's one thing I can't stand. Here are some of my biggest let downs that came up in my mind last night:
Fall '98, Stevenson vs. Romeo 28-7, We still won the game but I felt like it was my fault for letting them score their only touchdown. Because as a safety, you are the last line of defense, and I left my assignment reading the TE and let the WR go right past the cornerback and myself.
Winter '99 Wolfpack vs. Falcons, I don't remember the score but it was the city conference finals in b-ball. We were down by 2 with 3 seconds to go, and Cory was able to free me up for an open look at the 3. I took the shot, and it rimmed in and out, and I crashed to the floor upset, because it was an upset victory.
Spring '99 Titans vs. Everyone, this was our tennis invitationals, at 4 different high schools. Derek and I were lucky enough to draw and were able to stay at home against our opponents while everyone else got sent to other high schools. I was the team captain as usual, and I was going up against I believe it was Fraser's no. 4 singles. Coach Roman talked to me about how I needed to win my match in order for our team to be placed 3rd and get a bronze medal for it. I gave it my all, and in the middle of the match, my shoulder popped out. The ref asked if I wanted to forfeit? All I could say was hell no at the time because I don't quit. The trainer came out and wrapped an ice pack around my shoulder, and I resumed my match, but I was defeated. Coach talked to me after, and asked if I wanted to forfeit the rest of my matches at the invitational. I decided not to and took out my frustration against some kid from Warren Woods Tower and easily took that match.
So yup 3 things that stuck out in my mind last night. Again it's a crappy feeling to know that you've let the team down. But all I can do now is focus on next week's game and study that team's tendency on what they like to do.
Happy B-day to Chrissy as she is getting older now :Þ, mwhahahaha
I hate to lose, it's one thing I can't stand. Here are some of my biggest let downs that came up in my mind last night:
Fall '98, Stevenson vs. Romeo 28-7, We still won the game but I felt like it was my fault for letting them score their only touchdown. Because as a safety, you are the last line of defense, and I left my assignment reading the TE and let the WR go right past the cornerback and myself.
Winter '99 Wolfpack vs. Falcons, I don't remember the score but it was the city conference finals in b-ball. We were down by 2 with 3 seconds to go, and Cory was able to free me up for an open look at the 3. I took the shot, and it rimmed in and out, and I crashed to the floor upset, because it was an upset victory.
Spring '99 Titans vs. Everyone, this was our tennis invitationals, at 4 different high schools. Derek and I were lucky enough to draw and were able to stay at home against our opponents while everyone else got sent to other high schools. I was the team captain as usual, and I was going up against I believe it was Fraser's no. 4 singles. Coach Roman talked to me about how I needed to win my match in order for our team to be placed 3rd and get a bronze medal for it. I gave it my all, and in the middle of the match, my shoulder popped out. The ref asked if I wanted to forfeit? All I could say was hell no at the time because I don't quit. The trainer came out and wrapped an ice pack around my shoulder, and I resumed my match, but I was defeated. Coach talked to me after, and asked if I wanted to forfeit the rest of my matches at the invitational. I decided not to and took out my frustration against some kid from Warren Woods Tower and easily took that match.
So yup 3 things that stuck out in my mind last night. Again it's a crappy feeling to know that you've let the team down. But all I can do now is focus on next week's game and study that team's tendency on what they like to do.
Happy B-day to Chrissy as she is getting older now :Þ, mwhahahaha
Monday, October 07, 2002
So it would seem like it's been awhile since I've done this. I think it's because I haven't been sleeping lately that everyday seems so long. Saturday, I called my my little sis in AA to see how things were going with her. Gosh I still feel bad that it is Howie she likes and not Nick. My sis came home for the weekend, and ya know there are times when I hate when she comes home because all she does is come home and hit up the bars with her friends. However this weekend was cool because she cleaned up majority of my mess, and I like it when she acts more like my little sis instead of some badass girl who thinks their the bomb like the rest of her friends. And the times I missed like yesterday when she fell asleep in my room so I slept a little on the couch instead.
And yesterday was the Detroit Marathon, and praise God for providing so much such as health, weather, etc... the list just goes on and on. Saturday, a certain CBC member talked to me because this person was bothered by the fact that a bunch of us were skipping worship to go run a race. But I believed that God was glorified as a lot of us were using our shirts to witness to those who were interested in our t-shirts. And as I was being interviewed by the Free Press, all I could say was that all you could do was keep giving praise to God for what He has done. Speaking of which I need to go and buy the Free Press today. On the other hand, I was kind of down not being medically cleared to run. As I watched all the other runners pass by, I felt useless, I mean I'm glad that God had another plan for me which was to help Chrissy pick up and drop everyone off. I guess it goes to show who's plan is better mine or God's. It was fun driving the Surburban around because now that thing is built like a tank, and I'm glad that I've had so much experience driving the Yukon to be able to drive that thing. All in all it was a great time and I look forward to training myself so I can run it next year.
And on the fantasy note, dang it the week my team explodes for 122 points, I had no opponent to play against due to a bye. Dang it! And tonight the YCF crew play against The Other Team. Time to go lay the smackdown, as it is almost time to get down and get xtreme. Ya know one cd I've been listening for the past couple of days now is the newest Cecilia Cheung cd. I bought it like a month ago and I just started listening to it. Let me tell you, this cd really gets me going, and she is soooo cute, it's too bad she ain't the Coke sponsor over here.
Live For The Moment
And yesterday was the Detroit Marathon, and praise God for providing so much such as health, weather, etc... the list just goes on and on. Saturday, a certain CBC member talked to me because this person was bothered by the fact that a bunch of us were skipping worship to go run a race. But I believed that God was glorified as a lot of us were using our shirts to witness to those who were interested in our t-shirts. And as I was being interviewed by the Free Press, all I could say was that all you could do was keep giving praise to God for what He has done. Speaking of which I need to go and buy the Free Press today. On the other hand, I was kind of down not being medically cleared to run. As I watched all the other runners pass by, I felt useless, I mean I'm glad that God had another plan for me which was to help Chrissy pick up and drop everyone off. I guess it goes to show who's plan is better mine or God's. It was fun driving the Surburban around because now that thing is built like a tank, and I'm glad that I've had so much experience driving the Yukon to be able to drive that thing. All in all it was a great time and I look forward to training myself so I can run it next year.
And on the fantasy note, dang it the week my team explodes for 122 points, I had no opponent to play against due to a bye. Dang it! And tonight the YCF crew play against The Other Team. Time to go lay the smackdown, as it is almost time to get down and get xtreme. Ya know one cd I've been listening for the past couple of days now is the newest Cecilia Cheung cd. I bought it like a month ago and I just started listening to it. Let me tell you, this cd really gets me going, and she is soooo cute, it's too bad she ain't the Coke sponsor over here.
Live For The Moment
Thursday, October 03, 2002
So what do I want to say today? Well yesterday was a nightmare, it was sad to see Viv take off as she only has a couple of days left here in Mi. I parked my car at the curb of the terminal to help lift her luggage since it was like 10 times her weight. We said our goodbyes and I come back out, and I was left scratching my head asking uhhh what happened to my car? As it seems that the lovely Metro Airport police officer decided to tow my car away. So I had to pay $75 cash on the spot to get it back. The guys who towed it said it was nice to talk to a guy who can laugh this off. And all I can do is turn the other cheek towards a lot of things, as much crap as I've been putting up with, I think it's just my personality to be full of hope that things will get better. So as I entered my car, I noticed I had something on my windshield, and I look at it, of course things get better right? HA! It's a nice parking ticket that hit me up as well, so now I gotta take this thing to court which blows monkey nuts. I mean towing my car wasn't good enough I take it. Well I pray that Viv got to DC aight.
Now I'm running off this nice all nighter due to 2 term papers and 1 mid-term already. I still haven't finished this term paper yet and it is due in 3 hours! Fruity pebbles what am I doing blogging? Oh well, I am the king of procrastination. And I'm suppose to run in the marathon this Sunday but Dr. Kim has advised me not to and she sounded pissed when I told her I was good to go. But I've been praying about it and if she is upset that I am running than I'd rather not run because I don't want to lose her friendship vs. losing a race. Ya know I've got a nice medical staff that I am building for myself. Kim as my doc, Naomi as my physical therapist, and Viv as my nurse. Well it sucks today though as Naomi thinks that I might of damaged some sort of nerve or tendon in my hand. Errrr looks like I might have to hit up that Mortin again.
Ya know what's really been keeping me at peace during my times of saddness and disappointment, is gotta be any of my Jay Chow cd's. I don't know why but it makes me always turn the other cheek. Aight time to go hit up that paper.
An Jing!
Now I'm running off this nice all nighter due to 2 term papers and 1 mid-term already. I still haven't finished this term paper yet and it is due in 3 hours! Fruity pebbles what am I doing blogging? Oh well, I am the king of procrastination. And I'm suppose to run in the marathon this Sunday but Dr. Kim has advised me not to and she sounded pissed when I told her I was good to go. But I've been praying about it and if she is upset that I am running than I'd rather not run because I don't want to lose her friendship vs. losing a race. Ya know I've got a nice medical staff that I am building for myself. Kim as my doc, Naomi as my physical therapist, and Viv as my nurse. Well it sucks today though as Naomi thinks that I might of damaged some sort of nerve or tendon in my hand. Errrr looks like I might have to hit up that Mortin again.
Ya know what's really been keeping me at peace during my times of saddness and disappointment, is gotta be any of my Jay Chow cd's. I don't know why but it makes me always turn the other cheek. Aight time to go hit up that paper.
An Jing!
Tuesday, October 01, 2002
It's been a frustrating past few days for me. I came back to CBC to worship once again and it wasn't the feeling that I got from people that made me feel like I would want to come back to worship. In the past, people I would always hear people complain about certain things that they didn't like about CBC. And I would notice it and I would always ask God to use me, to change the way people think about CBC. But now I've noticed I begun slipping into that department as well. I feel like I want to give up on asking God to use me in that way at CBC. Was I too naive to be having this type of vision or did I do what you commanded us to do which was to carry hope, faith, and love?
And I've been seeking God every night for answers of what is going on with me, certain friends of mine. God gave me some answers, and it was more than I could take and I just ran out of the house upset. I drove around for a while to clear my head before our v-ball game so that I couldn't be distracted. The emotional pain is more than I can bear right now and it has left me distracted in all the other areas of my life. The answers that were presented to me only left me with more questions to ask, and if I do ask them am I able to take it? One of my favorite biblical characters is Job and I would hope that I am going through what he went through. And I know some people are going through this stage with their friends too, and they pretty much have that don't care mentality with them now. I want to have that attitude too, but I feel like I can't because I care too much about them, yet they don't seem like they share that caring feeling with me. I want to give all of their friendships a second chance like He has given us. And I've been praying for certain friendships to get back to where it was before and it can only happen through God. However if certain friendships were to end this way, again I ask am I being to naive to have so much hope in these people whom I call my friends, brothers, and sisters? Or was it meant to be this way? Why am I so weak right now? If only their was Motrin for this type of pain, and I know if I went back to my past then I know I wouldn't be feeling this way. If I am getting pushed away, then can I break away from them? Now it's time for me to go and seek counsel from whom You've sent to me to look out for me in my time of frustration.
A Maze of Grace
And I've been seeking God every night for answers of what is going on with me, certain friends of mine. God gave me some answers, and it was more than I could take and I just ran out of the house upset. I drove around for a while to clear my head before our v-ball game so that I couldn't be distracted. The emotional pain is more than I can bear right now and it has left me distracted in all the other areas of my life. The answers that were presented to me only left me with more questions to ask, and if I do ask them am I able to take it? One of my favorite biblical characters is Job and I would hope that I am going through what he went through. And I know some people are going through this stage with their friends too, and they pretty much have that don't care mentality with them now. I want to have that attitude too, but I feel like I can't because I care too much about them, yet they don't seem like they share that caring feeling with me. I want to give all of their friendships a second chance like He has given us. And I've been praying for certain friendships to get back to where it was before and it can only happen through God. However if certain friendships were to end this way, again I ask am I being to naive to have so much hope in these people whom I call my friends, brothers, and sisters? Or was it meant to be this way? Why am I so weak right now? If only their was Motrin for this type of pain, and I know if I went back to my past then I know I wouldn't be feeling this way. If I am getting pushed away, then can I break away from them? Now it's time for me to go and seek counsel from whom You've sent to me to look out for me in my time of frustration.
A Maze of Grace