How are you doing? You ever get that question and just say, eh I'm fine. Lately, I feel as if I say it, but yet that is not how I really feel ya know? For the most part I wanna say, well I'm frustrated, and the person would respond why, my reply back depending on who it is, would be for starters it would be nice if people such as yourself would serve God. Today, I spent some time walking around 12 Oaks trying reflect. I keep thinking of all these responsibilities that have been placed on me as if I am being stretched so far. I don't like asking for help because I don't want people to feel obligated in doing something nor do I want to be discouraged if I get rejected. Where does this lead to?

For starters, I feel as if I'm doing a poor job trying to get the CCUC thing settled. I feel as if it's all my fault that we still haven't settled on a place to stay. At times I feel like I might as well cut and run like everyone else and find my own place to stay. But then that's just me, me wanting to make sure that I find a place for me to stay. However, I want the body to stay together, because it develops unity, and fellowship with each other. I don't think you can put a price on that. Or I feel like it's my fault that we don't have as many teams this year, especially in the v-ball department. Granted it's already hard enough trying to help Juice get her team together. I'm thankful that she has tried to help me ever since she has been back. You can even put the blame on me, that we are one of few churches still to have paid our money to CCUC yet either.

I don't like it when I feel frustrated serving God, because God calls us to be serving Him with a joyful heart. I had a nice time today just talking to Chinchie for a few hours, and it amazes me how observant, and how much she loves God. Question is why is it always the same people who serve? I mean, at times I keep telling myself well it only means more treasures for me, but i want everybody to have that heavenly treasure. Thinking bout this even more, makes me even more frustrated because now I'm in that complaining mode. Seriously, though just too many times I feel as if people have that me-first attitude. Sorry to those who if any read this, but just the way I've been feeling as of late. I thank those who have been there to support me through listening/prayers/encouragement. I just need to continue to be that light and not let it grow dim, and can't be discouraged.

All For Love