Family Matters - Just like that, my sis has come and gone. The weekend with her home was like what it used to be, but leaving DTW reminds me of what it's going to be. During high school, everyone used to say that I put the word "fun" in disfunctional family. I know a lot of peeps don't agree with my philosophy, but to me it has always been just because we blood don't make us family.

I went to see my Grandparents a few days ago. At the time my G-Ma was still weak, and she was trying to put down some noodles. They finally said the thoughts that have been on my mind, they vented this anger about Alan and Wendy, my cuz's, their grandchildren. One has yet to bother to see them since last year's big 80th B-Day celebration, while the other recently sold out for her friends instead of going to see our G-Ma at Beaumont. As I left, I kept debating if I should talk to them about this. One reason is I am the oldest so I should continue to set the modeling tone in the fam. While on the hand, if I say something to them then they will feel all guilty and actually visit them. I want them to visit them because they WANT to not because they HAVE to. My mom kept urging me to talk to them because she did not want her parents to be mad.

I finally did a couple of nights ago, I pretty much told them how our Grandparents felt. I reminded them of how much they sacrificed for them when we were little. Lastly, I told them to visit them because they love them and not because I told them to. The thing that eats at me the most, is growing up I thought I did my best modeling/teaching/encouraging my younger cousins to always look out for fam. I thought they would see it through me and do the same. But everything has had an inverse effect, it just seems like they all care bout themselves for the most part. I think I understand why now, did I set the bar so high for them that they were discouraged by it? If ya know your Chinese culture, it's all bout bragging rights withing the adults about oh who is the best sibling. Although my parents don't promote me like that, my Grandparents, aunts/uncles always talk bout me and what I do for each one of them. Did those convo's discourage my cousins? Did I actually fail instead of succeed in leading the next generation of the fam? All I can do, is continue to support and help my G-Parents.

Sunday Morning