My past has come back today once again. Those people that I once cared for my Jr. High and Titans dayz have come back. However, towards the end of my senior year I left them. I left the crew that I once helped build and lead. Why because a lot of them were beginning to turn into wanna be's and the group dynamics started to changed. We went from ballin, hockey, movies, and video games to cigarettes, alcohol, sex, and drugs. Now today, I find out that one of them has returned back after I thought he had died after getting kicked out of MSU. My cousin told me today that he talked to Ron, one of my closest friends back in the day. He was one of the smartest guys I knew, always a thinker and I loved that about him. I always wanted to out think him, that was the challenge. Turn our junior year together, he started messing with that stuff. My cousin told me that he stopped smoking dope now. I guess that's great, but to me he shouldn't of been doing that in the first place.

My cousin then told me that Ron shared about my friend T.J. Now there was the Earl Boykins of our school, and one of my favorite goof offs in class with me. Ron shared with my cuz, that one of T.J.'s lung collapsed a while ago. My cousin told me that it could of been all that weed, and cigarettes that he's been smoking. To me, it's like I warn them a long time ago to stay away from that crap and no one listened, so I chose to leave them.

A few months ago, another one from the past wanted to meet up with me to discuss what had gone down in the past. The last time I met up with this fellow, I was an inch away from decking him after he shared with me of how he used the ones that I loved the most, the Carter twins against me. It was because of Erica that I promised her at that moment I would not hurt him, but next time there are no guarantees.

Ron gave my cousin his number, hoping he would pass it on to me to get in touch with him. I left those fools for a reason. My cousin tried to reason with me, saying "well it won't hurt if you talked to him." Hmmm yeah it won't hurt me, but I may hurt him. It's frustrating because God says love your enemies. How in the world am I suppose to do it on this one? I ain't one of them anymore, I'm CBC, a child of Christ. I need to seek God for guidance on this one and I gotta do this alone.

Bring Me To Life